Looking for others who have been through caring for a family member at home, through their passing, without hospice. This seems to be unheard of in current times. Does anyone stop to question whether drugging someone to death is interfering with God’s supernatural transition of a soul to heaven? My mom and brother toiled for years caring for my dad with Alzheimer’s - precipitated by onslaught of vaccines - and he eventually passed at home… he was not eligible for hospice because my mom had gotten him off all the drugs doctors threw at him. He improved tremendously when she stopped pumping him with every pill they could push, and the pharma/insurance cartel didn’t like that, so they exclude him from any kind of home aid / nurse assistance. Seems you either have to turn your loved ones over to drugs or go the die-at-home-with-dignity route 100% alone.
Hospice has a lot of comforting resources other than the drugs.
That is up to the families of the person under hospice care to hire with their own money an aide to come assist if additional help is needed.
In my own case while my late husband was completely bedridden and under hospice care, I had to hire an aide to come every morning to put him on the bedside commode so he could poop. That was on me, not hospice.
So again...perhaps you actually need to do your research about hospice care and what exactly it does and doesn't do, as you seem to be misinformed.
There are many many different religions and beliefs, millions of believers who believe that each of them is ‘right’, and you can’t believe them all. Enlightened now?
When the soul goes where it goes, it goes there with or without drugs. It goes there if you’re asleep or awake. It goes if you’re screaming in pain or calmly gazing into your loved one’s eyes. It goes eventually for all of us.
My soul will go, I hope, when I am not aware of the state of my body. If drugs are needed to achieve that, great.
I have no idea what “God’s supernatural transition of a soul to heaven” is. Please enlighten me.
The fact that you say that your brother and mother "did it all" is exactly how in-home hospice works(sadly I might add).
When one goes under hospice care in-home you will have a nurse come once a week to start and aides to come bathe your loved one about twice a week, and you'll have access to their chaplain, social worker and volunteers as well.
But that means 99% of your loved ones care falls on the family members as you experienced.
And you are correct when you say that your dad having "Alzheimer's was not a qualification for receiving any substantive at-home care" from hospice, as to qualify for hospice care ones doctor has to believe that someone is going to die within 6 months or less. And the life expectancy for someone with Alzheimer's is anywhere from 10-20 years, so not sure how early in his journey that you tried to bring them on board.
And also to clarify Medicare does pay 100% for hospice care including any and all needed equipment, supplies and medications which could have saved your mom a whole lot of money I'm sure as well.
But that is water under the damn now, but just so you know for the future.
As a Christian I too believe in the supernatural and all of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and believe that God uses all kinds of people and agencies to complete His will here on earth.
And while hospice which started many years ago as a true Godsend has veered away from what it's original intent was and now seems more money focused than anything else, I still believe that in a lot of instances that it serves a great purpose and that it truly does allow people to die in peace with no pain.
And if truth be told, we can't ask for more than that.
However, none of that precludes the fact that pharma and insurance models are based on finances and sometimes business interests are not what is in the best interest of a human being and often do not reflect trust in what the Lord can do. I know this is a triggering conversation for some, much in the way mainstream medicine’s over-medicalization of birth triggers many accounts of how mom and/or baby would have died if not for drugs and hospital interventions. People can also get triggered by the word “supernatural”, which is what God’s power is - it’s beyond what we are in our human flesh. My question about whether anyone considers His power at this time of transition of life to death is a genuine one - intended to find out if anyone is thinking about what is happening to someone at the moment(s) we are going home to meet our Creator and whether drugs introduced into those moments are altering (“interfering”) at all. Maybe the answer is “no, God will not allow any of these substances to alter how and when he receives us at the end of our time on earth.” Or maybe it’s “yes, we can be a stumbling block in someone’s transition rather than supportive.” Or there’s a wide spectrum of what might be going on. I do believe he loves the care-givers and pours out his compassion over the difficulty of all the decisions that need to be made. I know there are death/bereavement doulas, so that may be a place for me to pose my question. The Bible does say we will suffer. But as his children, we have salvation through his son Jesus - and I’m wondering how much of his miraculous comfort and healing we’re discounting when hospice turns into “drugging someone to death”. Even if it doesn’t happen that way for everyone, there are family members who witness it happening but don’t have the legal power in the household to stop it.
Our family’s scenario was such that without being on pharma prescriptions, Alzheimer’s alone was not a qualification for receiving any substantive at-home care. The few piecemeal offerings that may have had some of the expense covered by Medicare were not compatible with the unpredictable realities of what a family care-giver faces around the clock. My brother and elderly, faithful mother did it all. God bless them and I pray my dad felt peace and blessed assurance as he transitioned out of this world.
To keep the explanation universal, it goes back to the source. Some people don't believe in Christianity and they may be of other faiths or practice no faith at all, and I respect that. We are all birthed in a similar fashion either by natural delivery or C section. For either birth exit either vaginally or surgically, birth is a process.
The dying process is what it is a process, and the body is capable of handling this no matter if drugs are given or not. Modern medicine is famous for giving drugs to ease the transition process, but centuries ago before modern medicine, people died peacefully in their own homes without all of the bells and whistles of pre-death drugs. Using drugs for pain is a personal choice. Once a person is in the active process of dying, there is little to no need for drugs since the body is doing the work of shutting itself down for the last and final time.
We are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of the Universe.
The family is in charge of day to day care and are given meds to help with the pain aspect of death. You don't have to do it 100% to die at home with dignity. You are choosing it.
My mother did well after stopping her prescribed death extending meds (they extend the death sequence and destroy quality of life) but she still needed a little bit of help with pain. She died peacefully at home surrounded by love, after about 6 months on hospice with the only big downturn within the week of her death.
And her pain meds didn't accelerate her death, in fact, she never needed a higher dosage.
I am a Christian, and my late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life.
And I was the only one that gave him any of his medications which he needed as they were for his seizures, or to remove the excess fluids that built up in his body.
Hospice did provide pain medication in case my husband needed it, but again, I was the one who decided if he needed it and I was the one who gave it to him if and when he needed it.
So you see, whoever is caring for the hospice patient is the one who controls the medications given. And there were several times when hospice recommended that they add different medications, but if I didn't agree with them they didn't add it. It was as simple as that. This was my husband and it was going to be me who decided what he took and what he didn't.
I never had to turn my loved one over to drugs, "or go the die-at -home-with dignity route 100% alone" as hospice was with me and my husband every step of the way.
Now as my husband progressed and his pain was pretty unbearable I did give him the pain medications that hospice provided as that is the point of hospice, to allow people to be able to die as pain free and comfortable as possible, but again it was me that was giving them to him. Never once did a hospice nurse give my husband any medications in our home.
So you or whoever else has full control over what your love one takes or doesn't take while under hospice care. I'm sorry that you've been misinformed about the intent of hospice, and that you didn't seek the help of another hospice agency for your dad as every area has several choices when it comes to hospice care.
Hopefully you will have a much better experience if you should ever need hospice care in the future.
My mother had dementia and took no drugs at all but an antidepressant to feel better emotionally. Transitioning to death w/o pain and suffering has nothing to do with "Christianity" or religion because I'm quite sure God doesn't want ANY of His children to suffer unnecessarily on their way to meet Him. I recall nothing in the bible about such a thing. Man makes up stories and then believes them!
I had hospice for both of my parents and neither were "drugged to death". Their diseases took their lives, not hospice.
I myself have metastatic cancer and cannot take anymore immunotherapy treatments, so hospice is my next step if/when the cancer returns. I'm thankful such an organization exists, frankly. I'm no martyr when it comes to suffering.
You're entitled to you're opinions but keep in mind, that's what they are: opinions only.
We all die.
IMHO it is much nicer to die with the "good drugs" of hospice and I look forward to as many as I can get. Having lived a drug free life so far and at 82 I bet they will hit me with a BANG. I surely hope so. I have a triple negative breast cancer diagnosis and my family, my doctors at Kaiser, and all involved in my life understand I will make use of our MAiD laws (California's Medical Aid in Dying) as soon as someone will be so kind as to give the "6 months time" estimate. All of this is already scanned into my chart. So big pharma will make very little off me. It's a simple combo of cheap morphine, cheaper dixoxin, and cheapest of all--valium.
As to what god thinks about it? I am more than willing to discuss it with him if he has a few moments as I pass on to the devils.
You have a right to do things YOUR WAY. That's what it's about. As to your convincing a whole lot of others? I doubt it. But maybe. You can but try.
Take care of yourself.
Know that I am very sorry for your loss and I hope your dead one passed in comfort and surrounded with love.