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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I think it's kind and thoughtful of you to be concerned, but it seems as though it's time for you to consider your own health as well, while attempting to make arrangements for your partner.
I would think the best action you can take to protect him now is to follow the suggestions of the other posters, and try to make arrangements for his care in the future, while still keeping in touch with him but focusing on your own health.
I think you have several areas to address: the legal & financial ones as NY DIL and JoAnn addressed, and the practical and care oriented ones Siplegacy raised.
This must be a difficult situation for you, considering the parting of 2 apparently close people, as well as the then individual care for each of you. I wish you success and peace with the decisions you make.
North Carolina does not recognize common law marriage. What are your living arrangements? Do you own or rent a home together? What are his financial resources and how would his caregiving expenses impact your financial situation? Not because you are responsible for him - because you are not - but because his needs are only going to increase. You need to think about how meeting his needs, whether you arrange for that or his children do or the state does, will affect you.
Who holds his POA? If you, then you have the ability to place him. If he has money, in a nice AL, if not on Medicaid. Not sure how Medicaid will look at your relationship, though. A married couple the spouse staying in the home is considered the Community Spouse and as such gets to have assets split and all or part of the monthly income (SS and pensions) to live on.
If one of the kids is POA, then they can have Dad placed. But before you allow that, I would check with a lawyer what your rights are in the relationship. I hope you have not combined your money. If so, you need to protect what is yours. If its just SS and pensions that go into the acct. I may at this point have my checks rerouted to a different account. Then figure out in the joint acct what of that is yours. It may be that because you are both on the acct its 50/50 but that you need to check out. When you figure that out, transfer your part to another acct. You can always pay back but it will be hard to get what is yours. I know after years of living with him this is kind of devious but we have heard stories where the children take a SO out if the home and leave a step-parent high and dry.
So you need to protect yourself. Get your ducks in a row. See a lawyer to see if what I suggested can be done. If you don't have POA and one of the kids do, once you know where you stand legally, you can then say "I am not able to care for Dad any longer. If u can't care for him, then you will need to place him."
Having lived with him for many years, I'm sure you care for him. But you are not responsible for his primary care unless you choose to be. With your declining health, and if I were you, I would not choose to be his primary caregiver. But that doesn't mean you can't take the responsibility to insure his proper care. There are resources that can help you thru this time. One would be your local Area Agency on Aging. They are a great resource for all things to do with elderly.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I would think the best action you can take to protect him now is to follow the suggestions of the other posters, and try to make arrangements for his care in the future, while still keeping in touch with him but focusing on your own health.
I think you have several areas to address: the legal & financial ones as NY DIL and JoAnn addressed, and the practical and care oriented ones Siplegacy raised.
This must be a difficult situation for you, considering the parting of 2 apparently close people, as well as the then individual care for each of you. I wish you success and peace with the decisions you make.
If one of the kids is POA, then they can have Dad placed. But before you allow that, I would check with a lawyer what your rights are in the relationship. I hope you have not combined your money. If so, you need to protect what is yours. If its just SS and pensions that go into the acct. I may at this point have my checks rerouted to a different account. Then figure out in the joint acct what of that is yours. It may be that because you are both on the acct its 50/50 but that you need to check out. When you figure that out, transfer your part to another acct. You can always pay back but it will be hard to get what is yours. I know after years of living with him this is kind of devious but we have heard stories where the children take a SO out if the home and leave a step-parent high and dry.
So you need to protect yourself. Get your ducks in a row. See a lawyer to see if what I suggested can be done. If you don't have POA and one of the kids do, once you know where you stand legally, you can then say "I am not able to care for Dad any longer. If u can't care for him, then you will need to place him."