Follow
Share

Staff knows but does not seem like its a priority/ unwilling to medicate more
not fair to my mom who is bedridden and forced to endure ongoing disturbing cries for help seems to me a basic right to not be subjected to that but I dont see it written in patient rights

Find Care & Housing
Request, persistently, a change of rooms for your mother. She’s a consumer and deserves to live in peace. You cannot control the medication level of another resident, but you can expect your mother to have a roommate she’s compatible with, who allows her to get appropriate rest
Helpful Answer (16)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report
Geaton777 Nov 3, 2024
I would video it as it is happening and replay it back to the admins, loudly. Keep requesting a room change. Remind them they wouldn't want their loved ones to endure something like this day in and day out.
(12)
Report
See 2 more replies
Wow. That is something I worry about. Except my husband is the "yeller".
I hesitate to have him admitted to a nursing home for so many reasons, but one thing I would ask the staff is to put him in a room on his own or with someone who can't hear. I can't imagine subjecting another resident to that kind of harrassment!
I can't stand it when I'm home with him - I have to go outside.
Stick to your guns and keep insisting your mom be moved to another room!
Or have her moved to another facility!
Helpful Answer (16)
Reply to CaringWifeAZ
Report
cover9339 Nov 8, 2024
This is up to whoever assigned the residents to the rooms. They may try to have 2 people who are similar, but it may not work out that way.

True personal. in the facility, my roommate is a smoker, I'm not. We were pared together, one reason mentioned was that he would be out of the room, often, (which he was) to smoke.
(2)
Report
So my dad is back in AL now and doing well but he had a bad episode shortly after he had to leave his home three years ago that landed him in rehab, a nursing home, for a month. And he was absolutely the "help help me" guy. I want you to know that it was something that was constantly on my radar screen, (mainly because he was calling me fifty times a day as well) and I had numerous conversations with staff, and I was totally embarrassed and upset by his behavior. We tried medication, I brought in some items (an iPad, for example) that might help him calm down, treats, clothes because he was complaining about his clothes, we tried a million things and it just didn't seem to work. I felt terrible for his roommate, and apologized every time I was there. The reason I tell you this is that there may be things going on behind the scenes you don't, and can't, know about. But I feel for you — because I definitely knew my Dad was an absolute nightmare for his roommate.
Helpful Answer (14)
Reply to DoingMyBest73
Report
MargaretMcKen Nov 5, 2024
Thank you for your post, which showed just how hard this is to deal with. Some of the earlier responses came across as though the facility should either wave a magic wand or else turn the 'help help' person out onto the street. Currently there IS no solution to this difficult problem, just like there is no solution for dementia.
(8)
Report
See 1 more reply
Words speak louder if they are written down. Feel free to voice your concern but will go unanswered if delivered verbally.
Written communication is legal documentation.
Helpful Answer (13)
Reply to berkeleycowboy
Report

I would ask to speak with an ombudsman.
Helpful Answer (11)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Talk with administration. There should definitely be an expectation of quiet in your mom's room. If they can't control the noise with meds, they need to move your mom to another room that offers a little more peacefulness.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to my2cents
Report
elisny Nov 8, 2024
Absolutely agree. It is the law. Like many things in facilities, they try to keep residents and their families in the dark because they are mostly concerned about profits.

Everyone needs to educate themselves, because facilities violate the laws right and left and up and down.

How many people on this forum believe there are legal limited visiting hours in a nursing home? For the most part, they would be incorrect.

42 CFR § 483.10(f)(4)
(ii) The facility must provide immediate access to a resident by immediate family and other relatives of the resident, subject to the resident's right to deny or withdraw consent at any time;
(iii) The facility must provide immediate access to a resident by others who are visiting with the consent of the resident, subject to reasonable clinical and safety restrictions and the resident's right to deny or withdraw consent at any time;
(0)
Report
I was told on my mom's second day that her roommate also had a right to hear her TV whenever she wanted to watch it even if that were at 3AM. I brought my mom home the next day and she never went back.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to DeborahL
Report
cover9339 Nov 8, 2024
Good for you!!
(1)
Report
https://story.californiasunday.com/covid-life-care-center-kirkland-washington/

As seen, they stick loud aggressive dementia patients with quieter ones who take the brunt of the former’s attacks and antisocial behavior.

Were I you, I would encourage mom to socialize throughout the facility to find a mutually compatible rooomate.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to PeggySue2020
Report
Chalyse Nov 4, 2024
Amazing, informative, and heart-wrenching article looking back at nursing home ownership, the covid outbreak, and the impacts both have had on so many lives. Thanks for posting it, Peggy Sue.
(1)
Report
See 3 more replies
No one wants to be near the ‘help help help’ resident, it’s a common problem without a solution. One just over the corridor from my MIL for about three years, I think she stopped hearing it after a while. In the same room would be more difficult. Two ‘help’ people together would be good, but the sound travels. Perhaps drugs for the caller, ear plugs for the ‘listener’? At least it stops when they are asleep, it doesn’t go on all night.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to MargaretMcKen
Report
cover9339 Nov 6, 2024
At the facility, the late resident was roomed with a resident who was blind and bedbound. She made no fuss about help help lady, though she did "fuss" with herself, and sometimes hit at the aides that tried to feed and/or dressed her.
(0)
Report
Yes.

42 CFR § 483.10 - Resident rights.
(i) Safe environment. The resident has a right to a safe, clean, comfortable and homelike environment, including but not limited to receiving treatment and supports for daily living safely. The facility must provide—
(7) For the maintenance of comfortable sound levels.

https://www.law.cornell.edu/cfr/text/42/483.10
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to elisny
Report
AlvaDeer Nov 8, 2024
elisney,
Thank you for this from federal regulations. It is invaluable to have, I think.
Wonder if you could do me a favor, as I just used this from you to answer another op about a podiatrist that did her mom an injury in care.
Could you post this in Discussions under "Federal Policy Rules and Regulations regarding Resident Rights in LTC." If you put that link there we can always access it. I am not hooked to a printer and hard for me to store stuff, but I would love easy access to this.
Thanks again for posting this.
(1)
Report
See 3 more replies
See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter