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We just came back from a visit to my 95-year-old mother's neurologist. She has been seeing this doctor once a year for the past five years because the doctor put her on a memory pill, but we had yet to get a diagnosis on whether mother has dementia or if her issues are just from old age. Today we asked her for a diagnosis, and she said it is very hard to give a diagnosis. She said the only way was for us to pay $6000 for a pet scan or for Mother to a spinal tap to check for Altheimer's, neither of which are covered by insurance. Mother is now having some rare issues with agitation that disrupts the other people at her assisted living, and the doctor reluctantly gave the AL a prescription for her to take when she has an episode but scared us greatly about how it could slow her respirations down. When I asked what we should do otherwise if she has an episode without the medication, but she never answered that. Is a pet scan or spinal tap the only way to diagnosis dementia? Am I being silly about wanting a diagnosis? I never know whether to put it on the questionnaires that her other doctors have us fill out on her visits to them. She is fairly good at answering the five questions (and they are exactly the same questions each time) that test for cognition.

This is a neuro-psyc MD?
Because I am shocked that no scans and other testing is covered if your mother is on Medicare.
She should go for another opinion.
Many dementia's have to be IN EARLY STAGES guessed at for type. Others will show on scans as vessel disease or mini infarcts. My brother's early Lewy's was diagnosed as "probable early Lewy's Dementia by symptoms" and it was symptoms that were the only thing that showed. Later, in later stages it is easier to decide from scans, MRI and etc what type of dementia is involved. My brother had hallucinations and such typical of Lewy's.

This is a long time with "memory problems". I do not know what the MoCa (Montreal test) score is or the SLUMS test, but you can administer these yourself to your mom after watching on Youtube how it is done.

Basically in the end you do not need to know that your mother has a specific type of dementia. What you need to know is whether, in the opinion of her own doctor and a neuro-psyc, what is safe for her in terms of executive funcitons, being alone on her own and doing any documents. So the question is, what are my mother's deficits, are they progressing, and is she safe in self care or now requiring 24/7 help.

I hope you will get better answers. Sadly the definitive diagnosis comes after death with autopsy, if at that time anyone really truly cares/needs to know. Some dementias do tend to recur in families, and some do not. So it is good to know all you can.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Quite frankly, the doctors won't answer your questions directly. They dance around with vague responses. I had the same frustration with my stepmother's gastroenterologist who wouldn't give us a straight answer about her liver diagnosis. At a certain point, I wanted to know what her life expectancy was and all he would tell us is how he would add or change medications to make her comfortable. It was terminable, but he wouldn't say it.

YOU already know what's going on with your mother. You don't need the expensive scans to confirm the doctors care or your intuition on her diagnosis. You may be a little in denial about it.

My dad lives with me and is also good about answering those five questions with his doctor, but I know he's showing definite signs of dementia (he's 91-1/2 yo). I've learned with him that it is better not to mention the word "dementia" to him because it means something terrible to him. I've also learned that all that you've mentioned about your mother, my dad will likely experience the same as his "vascular dementia" progresses.

Everyone replying on the forum obviously understands and you can find much understanding and support here, if not a solid solution because there is no "solid solution". Good luck.
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Reply to joyceab
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We had to wait 18 months to get with a neuropsychologist. He did testing that took several hours. In the end, she got diagnosed with vascular dementia.

Before you go down that road, make sure Wills, POA and trust (if needed) are established.
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Reply to darts1975
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If the memory pill she has been on is Aricept or similar, it usually only works for about 2 years and then it is no longer helpful. But to be on a prescription memory pill from a neurologist would imply she had a diagnosis. I would ask this question point blank to the neurologist: doesn't a patient need a diagnosis in order to be prescribed a memory medication?

I think you need a different neurologist. But if I were you I would set up an appointment with your Mom's primary doctor for her annual (free) Medicare wellness exam. Through your Mom's medical portal, request she be assessed through a MoCA or SLUMs test. Tell them the symptoms and the concerns you have (and that the neurologist seems to be unhelpful). IMO your Mom doesn't need to have her dementia pinpointed since her very advanced age would not make her a candidate for any treatment action.

If she really somehow doesn't have a diagnosis, then I have to ask why does that matter now? Are you her PoA and you need a diagnosis to activate your authority? Other than this I don't know why you would put her through further advanced testing.
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Reply to Geaton777
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I use to work at a memory clinic. There is no one hundred percent accurate way of diagnosing a dementia in early stage. Scans, a memory test and information from the individuals nearest and dearest are used to make a diagnosis. But occasionally a diagnosis can be incorrect usually by under diagnosing dementia. If the team are not confident in giving a diagnosis with the information they have they usually dont as it can cause great distress to the individual.
Scans sometimes show as normal but the behaviour suggests they have a dementia and sometimes vice versa.
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Reply to Bungle
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My mom had a brain MRI and it showed normal shrinking of her brain. The doctor then asked about mom’s routines and changes. She was able to pass the 3-5 questions but not the 30 questions.
The doctor then asked me (without her there) how she was doing. I told her that I was paying her bills and cooking and making sure she takes her pills. I told him that she had memories that didn’t match facts and she filled in facts on recent situations. I was there and knew the real story. The doctor said she was showing signs of cognitive decline and was probably getting close to moderate vascular dementia due to the brain scan. It is true the only definitive way to get a diagnosis is invasive but that can be avoided with a doctor not afraid to say the hard words. Her neurologist wasn’t that helpful but her geriatrician was helpful. The neurologist did help with the driving situation. He suggested that for the safety of her and others, he recommended a driving evaluation. This was self pay through a wonderful place that when I took my mom there, she refused to participate. They gave me the money back. :) BTW, the geriatrician was the only one that was willing to put the diagnosis/symptom in writing. That allowed us to sell mom’s home when she went to a AL. I spent a great deal of time learning how to reassure mom and learn her ways. I used my words to let her know that I love her and I am her memory…..”try it Mom, I will remember for you”. She was sad but reassured.
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Reply to Tandemfun4us
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Vladtheimpaler Nov 17, 2024
wow, you are doing way better than me with my Dad. My dad is so very uncooperative in every way possible. Yes, he has vascular dementia. That was diagnosed with a brain scan which showed various areas of brain ischemia. I was asked if my dad ever had a stroke. I never knew of any signs or complaints, but his brain scan showed otherwise. The dr in the emergency room showed me the scan right there in the ER. Also, the asked me if he smoked. He never did..then they showed me his extensive lung scarring..This was a diagnosis of lung ischemia. Then they tell me that he as coronary heart decease , and an almost clogged heart valve.. All 3 of these factors contributed to a diagnosis of vascular dementia. Every time they brought him back to life, he was able to answer the magic question and sign himself out and back into the world.. Even after we finally got him a TAVR and pace maker months later.. he once again was asked the magic questions and was signed out..with his vascular dementia, TAVR & pace maker..free to roan the streets of NYC..Free to run his life and business..until 1.5 months later when he drove his car up to a place he has been a 1000 times..only this time he parked his car in the middle of the parking lot of some convenience store and he did not know where he was or what day it was or what time it was..and that changed everything..And it happened so fast before the system got a hold of him and his assets to pay for private nursing care since he had assets..no medicaid for him..I took over his life and now I am the devil incarnate.. Now he's an angry man wanting to go home. When you talk to him, ya would thing he is ok and doesn't belong where he his.but give it 10 more minutes, and then ya will see the confusion. He is high functioning.. He says he does not belong in the facility he is in, says he has nothing in common with these people, meaning the other residents. He says he wants me to let him go and not worry about him, to have nothing to do with him. His drivers license was suspended because he did not show up for a DMV reevaluation..He said he will drive anyway..he says he doesn't care. I tell him he could have an accident and hurt or kill someone, and then the state will take over his life,.. he says, "I dont care. let them".. The system is not very helpful to people like us, especially if there are assets involved. It really is a racket.. No one will take responsibility. but they sure have a lot of answers for you...Even lying to them is an acceptable means of communication..unbeleavable.. Ive noticed the there are a lot more women in these facilities than men..
they seem to be more cooperative than men in general..at least from what ive witnessed..Its a curse for my dad to be going what he is going thru, And he doesn't even know why? One moment he was in his home or business sitting around with everything falling apart around him which he was quite content in doing so, and next he's in in a memory care facility trying to get out for 14 months now..and even succeeded in escaping this week..only to get rounded up and sent to the hiospital and back to the place he escaped from.. The next day he asked one of the maintenance people to call him a taxi..You are blessed to have this kind of relationship with your mom..
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Sorry, but your mom's neurologist doesn't seem to be thorough. There are brain scans and MRI tests that should have been recommended a long time ago. Prescribing medications without testing is guessing. There are different stages of Dementia and different types. Maybe your mom's doctor doesn't feel the need to be more aggressive due to her age. There are doctors who don't push for further testing due to age. I saw that with my mom's cardiologist, and so symptoms are overlooked. I would find a different doctor or just go with the flow depending on your mom's commorbitities.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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My wife’s PCP gave her a SLUMS test periodically, this test shows loss of memory over 6-12 month intervals.
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Reply to BDMartin
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Do you think if you got the answer you would be able to handle things better? My point is she's 95 why on earth would you put her thu anything like that. You have nothing to gain. She made it thru her 90s let her be and enjoy her history.
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Reply to LoniG1
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My mother (84) was initially diagnosed as cortical volume loss by her neurologist, and a recent mri was part of it. After 6 months we were noticing more decline and we saw him again. He referred her to a neuropsychologist and he did a lengthy series of tests, about 3 hours. We left out that day with a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s.
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Reply to JenJen24
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