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Right now I have enough money to put Mom in a good nursing home for a year or two. But if she needs care for five or six years I cannot afford it. I have heard there are wonderful and affordable facilities in other countries but have no idea how to find them. Does anyone know how you can find quality dementia care in Costa Rica and or Mexico?
Not looking for a Medicaid answer. Thank you for your help.

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Charlie, not all facilities are terrible. My grannie was is a beautiful nursing home on Medicaid and she was taken care of the same as everyone else.

She was always clean, she got fed because she wasn't able to feed herself. She always had a happy attitude, until they were showering her. Modesty dies hard, so we instructed them to just get the shower done no matter how loud she yelled. She was never hurt in the process.

My grandmother was in a facility that was truly an institution. This was decades ago, when you didn't have many choices. It scared me to death but, I remember that she was always clean, didn't have any weight loss and was not sedated to a zombie. Her room was clean and the facility didn't smell. So even though it wasn't the 1st class facility my grannie was in, she was well taken care of.

Unfortunately, many people still associate those state institutions as nursing homes, things have come a long way in 40 years.

I think it is hard for people to watch MSM and really know what is going on. Many of these refugees have been trained on what needs to be said to gain refugee status and all the benefits that includes. That's why they don't say it's because of poverty, because they would be denied. That's what MSM doesn't tell the public. I live near the border and I have traveled into Mexico and seen the reality of no middle class. That's really why they are storming our borders, because you can't change your status in Mexico, you're either wealthy or poor and you're born into it. But, if you get refugee status you get a place to live, food stamps, medical insurance, free education, job training and a minimum of 800.00 monthly. Who wouldn't want that deal?

Will you come back and let us know how you found a facility after you do?

Oh, about the language, you're right. Educated Mexicans speak English, it's a requirement in there educational system. They just use the "language barrier" to see what people really are. Talk smack and get crappy treatment, be kind and make an effort to speak their language and they feel respected and reciprocate.
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We have had a couple of people from the forum who have done this but if I remember correctly they were very familiar with Mexico because they lived in border communities or had family there.
As for covid - I can't imagine nursing homes are any safer in either county you've mentioned (although some states do seem to be much more cautious than others).
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Why would I have trouble checking on her. If I placed in in a facility in another country I would of course retire in that same area. It is shocking that you would automatically assume that she would be left alone thousands of miles away.
From what I have seen many of the nursing homes in the US are not great. After reading about amount of people that died in nursing homes with Covid I reached out looking for information. Not insulting comments and prejudices!
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lealonnie1 Dec 2021
Then it would have been quite helpful for you to SAY you were planning to 'of course retire in the same area' you plan to place your mother in a facility in! Leaving out pertinent information leads others to make assumptions.

Have a great evening!
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You've gotten very good responses here, for the most part, considering you're asking a question on an internet forum! You've even been given a link to another question like yours with the answers, which is a great resource. We have no idea if you'd be able to visit your loved one once a year or monthly or weekly or daily, were you to place her in a foreign country for memory care. Considering costs are something that are of concern, one would have to assume the costs of visiting her continuously in a foreign country would also be too costly to be practical, no? We have to be physically present to advocate for our loved ones when they are in managed care, that much is certain. Not to mention, spending your own money to finance your mother's life in memory care is a questionable thing to do since she could live for a good number of years with dementia. My mother is 95 in January with advanced dementia and more issues than Newsweek, and at almost $7K a month for Memory Care here in Colorado, I'm looking at applying for Medicaid in the summer on her behalf. That's the only option I see as feasible for her, personally. I have not considered placing her in a MC home in another country, no, although I too have heard they are quite good, esp. in Thailand. I read an article on it recently that said the CGs will get in bed with the patient and lie with them if they are frightened and agitated, which is an awesome thing to do, when you think about it. The cost was about $1500 a week there (according to the article) compared to $7K a month here in the USA.

Wishing you the best of luck finding the situation you're looking for and the responses that suit you best.
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I have read that the care outside the US is better than here. Also read that once I can no longer afford a private care facility in the US she will be moved to a facility that accepts Medicaid, but not the same as private nursing home.. I am exploring all options at this point and really just wanted to know if others had any experience with out of country facilities. My understanding is that most places set up for Americans in Costa Rica are English speaking and offer a higher level of care than I can afford in the US. I. Am shocked at the prejudices in the responses by some on this board.. And the worst is the assumption by someone that thinks she would only be visited once a year. This is suppose to be a place where questions can be asked not judgements given.
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I would surmise lower cost of living overall causes it. I've heard of nice ones in Thailand as well. Same reason they make good retirement destinations.
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Hi Charlie
We had a poster (Sue) who had her mom in a NH or MC in Mexico.

Here is a link to one of her posts

https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/change-of-plan-447135.htm

Be sure to read her bio as she explains how she went about moving back and forth from California to Mexico.

Her mom died in 2019.
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Worst idea ever. I'll leave it at that.
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ZippyZee Dec 2021
Worst response ever. At least give a reason.
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Charlie, I would do a Google search for geriatric case manager in the cities or towns you would be interested in.

International care homes search might help.

Maybe contacting the Mexican consulate in your town or the American one where you're interested.

That's where I would start.
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People are FLEEING Mexico and CR for the US. Doesn't that seem a little scary to you? To send mom to a foreign country b/c you want to avoid Medicaid? You have some issues with it?

IMHO, the care given to patients is not based on their ability to pay top dollar. MANY people wind up needing Medicaid.

If my mom goes into care, she will only have enough to private pay for a year, maybe 2. Then she'd be Medicaid dependent. I wouldn't want her thousands of miles from us...maybe it's cheaper, but the cost of care is NOT the only thing at play here.
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Charlie714 Dec 2021
No it doesn’t! ! ! People fleeing these countries for US are coming for employment and financial opportunities. The same reasons In reverse that many Americans are choosing retirement in foreign lands. Gosh I am shocked at your prejudices…and assumptions. I would never dump my Mom in another country alone. Your assumptions are outrageous ! If I moved her to another country I would retire in that country too. Where you get the idea that I would be thousands of miles away. I was looking for intelligent information… Not outrageous prejudices and assumptions!
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This question has been asked before. Besides putting someone in another Country for care there's getting a visa and residency.

People on Medicaid are not treated any differently than self-pay individuals. The staff have no idea who is on Medicaid and who isn't. My Mom paid privately and transitioned into Medicaid.
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Can you tell us more about your mom and why you anticipate she will need to be transitioned into a NH?

I'm sure you can find seemingly great places that are less expensive in other countries but there will be other factors to consider, like distance, language barrier, concept of care, borders closing due to covid, the value of the US dollar against their currency, political and criminal instability (both Mexico and CR have very active gang activity), unknown legal structures that would allow you to pursue solutions if there were issues with her care or payment, and the possibility that your mom may need care longer than six years. If your mom has dementia, adjusting to change will already be challenging...now think about adjusting to an entirely new culture, food, language...

IMHO you should not be planning to pay for your mom's ongoing care as this is unsustainable and robs from your own future. If your mom entered a good NH on private pay in the US, then Medicaid would cover her care if she qualified. It would be very important to know how and when she would qualify by consulting with a Medicaid Planner for her state or an elder law attorney.

I personally would be very hesitant to send a very vulnerable person thousands of miles away where I would have trouble checking on her in person more than once a year.
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