I am the care giver for my mom, she lives with me. but every time one of my brothers or sisters come to visit she takes them to the side and tells them she is not happy with me. When I ask her about it she says they are lying on her. If I offer to help her find some place she would be happier at she cries because she don't want to move. How do I handle this? She is at the stage where she can't even fix a bowl of cereal so she is not able to stay alone
As for mom 'not happy with (______fill in the blank)'........NOBODY INVOLVED IS HAPPY, EITHER.
How do you know that your mom is telling your siblings this information? Do you overhear it or do they come back and report to you? I suspect they need to get more sensitive with your feelings. If they truly get it, then they should telling you point blank that they understand and that they KNOW where mom's words are coming from and that they are grateful for the great care you give her.
Also, keep in mind that she may deny having said negative things about being happy, because in her mind, she may not recall saying it. Additionally, remember that many dementia patients are not happy anywhere they reside. It depends on the person. I'm fortunate that my cousin tells me that she loves living in her apt (that's what she calls it) in Memory Care. She says they treat her well and it's so nice there. However, I think it depends on the stage the patient is in. Your mom may go through the stage she is in now and not make those comments anymore. I've notice that about dementia in my cousin.
The dementia patient is HAVING a hard time...
I hope your brothers and sisters know that you're taking good care of your mom and that it's her Alzheimer's that's talking. Anything your mom says to anyone should be taken with a grain of salt.
When my grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's my mom and my aunts all read "The 36 Hour Day". It's a wonderful and informative book about Alzheimer's disease. Maybe you could pass along a copy to your siblings.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I hope your family comes to realize that nothing your mom says can be taken as gospel.