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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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At one point, my former MIL had gone two years without a bath or shower. I think that unfortunate pattern probably was interrupted when she started to receive hospice services. She is still alive, age 93, with Alzheimer's disease diagnosed 10 years ago.
Ydale, I am in my 70's and I have noticed for myself that taking a shower is like going to the gym, and here I use to be a gym rat for many years. It can be very exhausting for many seniors. Especially with your Mom having memory lost, mobility issues, etc.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your parent is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Then if the parent needs to blow dry their hair, that can be tiring on their arms.
Whew !!
A parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. I recently tried a new product called "Water Wipes" and was quite pleased, great to use inbetween showers :)
My friend has this issue with her MIL that lives with them. She doesn’t have dementia but refuses to shower. She does the sponge baths and hasn’t had any UTI’s. It puzzles me why this is common not to bathe. A shower makes us feel better.
Ydale 14, My husband quit wanting to shower, went three weeks (!) without one no matter what I tried! Called SPS for suggestions. " Legally you can't make him do anything!" was their retort. I too learned the "do not ask" way. I bought a shower chair & had bars installed in our walk in shower. He was angry, said he didn't need all that *^~T! Growled " Where's mycookies?" I fibbed that he was out of cookies & went back to my child raising days. "If you just try it I will get more cookies after." He rolled his eyes & just said ok. Thank God for small miracles. The first time was a bit of a struggle. "I can do it myself!" He said. ( After 40 yrs. married?) " Do you mind, I need my privacy !" I stood outside close by. 2 minutes later, " honeee, can you help me?" He couldn't/ forgot how to turn the water on. He liked the sitting down part although it was more comfortable with a small towel on it and asked that I wash his back, he'd get his front. 😊 Looked very pleased and happy after shower although he was very tired. Mayb that's why he had refused to shower before? Now it's shower time at least twice a week. I'll tell him the waters on, his towels & clean clothes are ready. Still reminds me " just showered yesterday", I remind him it's been 3 days, a week whatever comes out first. It's not easy caregiving for a LO & yes sometimes I get testy but I've learned to play nice and always pray for more patience. It works for me. My girls ask " mom, how do you do it!?" Only by the grace of God! 😇 🙏🏽🙏🏽s for a good report on another brain scan on hubby. Waiting on results. Hugs and blessings, Nanabinx
Ydale14, I'm assuming your mom is living with you? I'm also assuming the shower is senior-friendly: shower chair, hand rails, good lighting, etc.
This is a very common problem. Sometimes it helps to have someone else come it encourage them to bathe, like a private care person, another female relative, etc. In my family having a neighbor (who happens to work pt time in a care facility) come in once a week for $15 to get my 97-yo auntie with dementia into the shower has worked great.
Prior to that, her family caregiver would tell her they were going somewhere so she needed to get spruced up, which included a shower. For whatever reason that stopped working. I've noticed in my MIL's LTCF they don't pose it as a question (like "Don't you want to take a shower?") they come up with a choice (like, "It's time for your bath! Do you want bath salts this time?") They never act like bathing is an option. If nothing is working, your mom can get a sponge bath, hopefully.
Soon others will post their wisdom and creative solutions :-) Good luck!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your parent is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Then if the parent needs to blow dry their hair, that can be tiring on their arms.
Whew !!
A parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. I recently tried a new product called "Water Wipes" and was quite pleased, great to use inbetween showers :)
Sorry you are going through this. Hugs.
I bought a shower chair & had bars installed in our walk in shower. He was angry, said he didn't need all that *^~T! Growled " Where's mycookies?" I fibbed that he was out of cookies & went back to my child raising days. "If you just try it I will get more cookies after." He rolled his eyes & just said ok. Thank God for small miracles. The first time was a bit of a struggle. "I can do it myself!" He said. ( After 40 yrs. married?) " Do you mind, I need my privacy !" I stood outside close by. 2 minutes later,
" honeee, can you help me?" He couldn't/ forgot how to turn the water on. He liked the sitting down part although it was more comfortable with a small towel on it and asked that I wash his back, he'd get his front. 😊 Looked very pleased and happy after shower although he was very tired. Mayb that's why he had refused to shower before? Now it's shower time
at least twice a week. I'll tell him the waters on, his towels & clean clothes are ready. Still reminds me " just showered yesterday", I remind him it's been 3 days, a week whatever comes out first. It's not easy caregiving for a LO & yes sometimes I get testy but I've learned to play nice and always pray for more patience. It works for me. My girls ask " mom, how do you do it!?" Only by the grace of God! 😇
🙏🏽🙏🏽s for a good report on another brain scan on hubby. Waiting on results.
Hugs and blessings,
Nanabinx
This is a very common problem. Sometimes it helps to have someone else come it encourage them to bathe, like a private care person, another female relative, etc. In my family having a neighbor (who happens to work pt time in a care facility) come in once a week for $15 to get my 97-yo auntie with dementia into the shower has worked great.
Prior to that, her family caregiver would tell her they were going somewhere so she needed to get spruced up, which included a shower. For whatever reason that stopped working. I've noticed in my MIL's LTCF they don't pose it as a question (like "Don't you want to take a shower?") they come up with a choice (like, "It's time for your bath! Do you want bath salts this time?") They never act like bathing is an option. If nothing is working, your mom can get a sponge bath, hopefully.
Soon others will post their wisdom and creative solutions :-) Good luck!