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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I guess I really should look at the profiles.. So CM hinted that you used to live very close to mom, but you moved away...maybe seems like you feel a bit guilty? seriously look at your situation.. take it easy now covid... and talk with your family members... what choices do you have? What choices are there? Anyone else stepping in to help out?
You used to live next door to your mother. You and your boyfriend have been together for fourteen years, and recently? moved a half hour's journey away from your mother.
Now you have become concerned about how she's going to manage, and... are thinking about your options? Have already suggested she should move in with you?
How far have you got with your plans? What are your mother's thoughts?
Well I moved away about 10 years ago I moved in with my boyfriend he bought a house its about 20 mins from her we tried to look close by but couldnt find a place cheap enough tried to stay as close as i can She's been doing fine but then she fell and fractured her hip and her life as changed and also mentally not the same person after her surgery So she dicided to sell her house but there was a cute place about 5 min from me but she always find some kind of excuse about everyplace but she wants to live alone and she probably could as long as she s 5 min from either me or my sister We sugguested her moving with us and we would add a room mayb bathroom so she could have her own space and we still have our space but she would have to pay for it when her house is sold cause were just making ends meet ourselves Were both on fixed income but she don't seem interest cause i know she wants her own place See when she got out of hospital my sister stayed with her overnight was suppose to just be for a little while till she get around but my sister overdid it and still sleeping there and now my mother is scared to stay alone at night or maybe just saying it cause she likes the company She wasn't like this before she had her surgery But my son her grandson lives a next lot over So it was really dumb for her to sell her house She's suppose to be out by May 26th but we want to try to extend it cause of this pandemic She s not easy cause very stubborn. I hope this all makes sense its alot of explaining lol Thanks for the response
95 years old? come on.. find a place for mom close to you if you don't want her living with you... 95 years old... She probably is very needy and for good reason.. she is 95... Take your time, especially now.. covid19 is nothing to sneeze at.. So, just tell her she needs to stay in place... virus.. very serious... this should give you some time to find a place for her if you don't want her at your home... You know what they say about "property" LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION... So look at places close to you, so you can be comfortably close to her... She needs family.. 95 years old, do look for a place within 5 miles for both you and her. If you feel you cannot physically take care of her, your family, and work,,, then it is up to you to find a place for mom, CLOSE TO YOU... Trust me.. this will be okay... within a 5 minute to 15 minute driving distance will be okay. Between home and work is perfect... I actually did that... So if I needed to stop and see my elders, I was able to...without going out of my way... THIS BIT OF INFO IS IMPORTANT... You really don't know until you need to.. do your homework.. visit places, multiple times, do not tell them you are visiting... surprise them.. It's the best way... once we are out of covid19....
Don't do it! I wish I hadn't, my life has suffered trying to accommodate mum and she's 73. Don't do it if you have alternative options as in assisted living or memory care facility.(different terms for different countries greatly differ from what they call assisted living) example assisted living in Australia just means meals, that's all. Somewhere along the line she will take over your life with her medical, emotional & physical needs. Sure all of us live-in carers feel good in someway that we are not putting family member into a facility but the question to ask is do any of us regret it. I certainly do. I do love my mum but the impact alone on my mental health & social & fatigue from caring for elderly parent is to much.
Looking after someone who is elderly is 10 times harder than looking after a child. Caring for a elderly parent is like looking after a toddler that knows how to press all of your buttons the wrong way.
Hi, Liljo. Welcome to our forum. Hope we can help. There are hundreds of posts here from people who have taken parents in to their homes to live with them. More detail on your situation, your mother’s health, and any details you’d care to share about your past relationship with your mom would help us. Is your mother medically fragile? Does she have dementia or other mental concerns? If so, do you feel you will be able to handle it? Will you be prepared to assist her with bathing and toileting? Will you have help to give you a break? Are you prepared to be “on call” 24/7/365? Will Mom. be able to assist with finances? Your utilities and food bill will increase.
Mom could very well become too needy if you jump and run every time she wants something. If you let her do things she is capable of doing, it might not be that bad.
Please feel free to come back with any questions. This is a great forum!
At 95, you are right about her becoming needy. Are you sure that you are up to caring for her? Maybe getting her some in home assistance would be better.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
seriously look at your situation.. take it easy now covid... and talk with your family members... what choices do you have? What choices are there? Anyone else stepping in to help out?
You used to live next door to your mother. You and your boyfriend have been together for fourteen years, and recently? moved a half hour's journey away from your mother.
Now you have become concerned about how she's going to manage, and... are thinking about your options? Have already suggested she should move in with you?
How far have you got with your plans? What are your mother's thoughts?
Take your time, especially now.. covid19 is nothing to sneeze at..
So, just tell her she needs to stay in place... virus.. very serious...
this should give you some time to find a place for her if you don't want her at your home...
You know what they say about "property" LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION...
So look at places close to you, so you can be comfortably close to her... She needs family.. 95 years old, do look for a place within 5 miles for both you and her. If you feel you cannot physically take care of her, your family, and work,,, then it is up to you to find a place for mom, CLOSE TO YOU... Trust me.. this will be okay... within a 5 minute to 15 minute driving distance will be okay. Between home and work is perfect... I actually did that... So if I needed to stop and see my elders, I was able to...without going out of my way... THIS BIT OF INFO IS IMPORTANT... You really don't know until you need to..
do your homework.. visit places, multiple times, do not tell them you are visiting... surprise them.. It's the best way... once we are out of covid19....
I wish I hadn't, my life has suffered trying to accommodate mum and she's 73. Don't do it if you have alternative options as in assisted living or memory care facility.(different terms for different countries greatly differ from what they call assisted living) example assisted living in Australia just means meals, that's all. Somewhere along the line she will take over your life with her medical, emotional & physical needs. Sure all of us live-in carers feel good in someway that we are not putting family member into a facility but the question to ask is do any of us regret it. I certainly do. I do love my mum but the impact alone on my mental health & social & fatigue from caring for elderly parent is to much.
Looking after someone who is elderly is 10 times harder than looking after a child. Caring for a elderly parent is like looking after a toddler that knows how to press all of your buttons the wrong way.
Mom could very well become too needy if you jump and run every time she wants something. If you let her do things she is capable of doing, it might not be that bad.
Please feel free to come back with any questions. This is a great forum!
At 95, you are right about her becoming needy. Are you sure that you are up to caring for her? Maybe getting her some in home assistance would be better.