Uncomfortable question from caregiver. Have you ever been asked for money?

I agree with everyone above. She should have been reported. Also, if someone does ask for money to pay a utility bill or rent and ur willing to help...pay the utility company directly. If the person is lying, they will back off. Utility companies don't care who pays the bills just wants them paid. I was on a committee at Church who helped people financially. We always paid directly to landlords and utility companies.

I had a client who used an in-home care provider for a couple of weeks after she had hip surgery. This woman has been known in the past to be taken advantage of by so-called friends and so we immediately were on our guard when she had someone come in her home. Long story short she ended up feeling sorry for the caregiver and signed a lease for a home two streets away from her and ended up constantly giving the caregiver her debit card for little expenses. The caregiver ended up staying with her for about 6 months longer than was initially assessed. She wouldn't say no to the caregiver and the caregiver definitely took advantage of her. The really awkward part is that the agency was in the same business complex as my office so we had to go over and report it to them and she was fired about five weeks into the job but just stuck around because my client was silly enough to pay her. We even noticed that the caregiver started using her car for personal errands and loaning it to relatives. It's too slippery a slope.

I had one aide that did that. She wasn't the most experienced, but she was far more dependable than most. Most of the time I told her no. Usually it was 10 bucks or so for gas money. But she lived right down the street from me and could walk.
Not a comfortable thing for an aide to do, but that's how some people live and don't think anything of it.
After several years of hiring home health aides it became evident that a lot of them cannot find any other type of work. Not the most comforting thing to know, but it does explain why it can be so difficult to find good, reliable help.
Once you say yes, they ask again and again. I said no and that I don't do that and I would appreciate her not asking again. Yes, you do have to worry about the care that person provides, but if it's a concern then start looking for a replacement now before you need one. That comes from my own personal experience. Good luck.

Helping someone is OK if you can actually afford to do it and you're actually working making a decent amount of money. However, it's not so good  if you're really not making it even if you do happen to be working. Sometimes shelling out money when you're already hurting financially is a huge risk, especially when  whoever your lending the money to may not be able to repay it in a timely manner if at all. It's understandable to want to be able to help someone to turn the utilities back on if say something like the heat during the dead middle of winter is off because your utility is off or your heater just needs fixed. However, if you're not working, it's not easy to replace lent money, especially if you can't even afford to start a family because of your own lack of finances. If you're on welfare, any form of Social Security or disability program, sometimes it's easy to want to splurge if you're making a considerable amount. The problem is when you need something later on, and that something may be a big ticket item like a car or some other  necessary item but you don't have the money to meet that need. That's one things can get a little bit problematic for you, especially knowing there are people out there who are able and in a position to help but choose not to. I'm talking about the Philthy Rich who are out there who can easily  replace the money and still go on to help others after you but simply choose not to as in the rich man and Lazarus, those are the kinds of people I'm talking about, the greedy rich who can't afford to help people but don't. This is why I'm so glad President Trump took office when he did, because he can go after where the money really is and get it back into the hands of the people who most need it. It's not right when you have a widespread problem of struggling Americans who can't even pay the bills or stay afloat just because the rich have all of the countries money while the rest of the people suffer, that's not right and what you're describing is an example of exactly what I'm talking about. Apparently there is a lack of money or this caregiver wouldn't be hurting  so bad financially to ask someone else to help out. Apparently there's a problem with the agency if the agency hired this particular person. Either the agency doesn't have the money to pay their workers what they need to pay out or they have it and are just being greedy and causing their workers great distress. I don't know the whole situation from this caregivers and or if someone may have asked her for money, is this possible? Maybe she lent someone else money and now it's cutting her short, is this a possibility and have you asked her? Is it also possible she may not be managing her own money too well, and now her own utilities are off? I would ask a few questions if I were you, And you may not know that she may not actually be a fraudster testing the waters to take a vantage of whoever she cared. You just never know these days but not everyone is out there to drain your wallet when there are so many people out there who are legitimately hurting where as others are just in it for all they can get. 

I'm not helping with no one right now, but I have been asked for money recently by someone who knows I have a pending lawsuit against a fraudster who took advantage of my bio dad with Alzheimer's. This person knows I'm most likely to collect big and she recently asked me to lend her some money. I had to just simply explained that I'm not working and this is a one time gift I won't easily be able to replace, especially if I don't get it back. I told her as a rule I don't lend money, especially knowing I'm not working. I also had to explain that a good much of it will probably have to go toward a car I so badly need along with most likely other things I need such as new tires for my mobility scooter and batteries for one of my other chairs. I explained that it might not be so bad if I was working, but I'm not but even if I was working I still don't lend money, especially since lent it's money is so hard to get back.

If you lend money, you may as well not lend it if you can't afford to lose it. Lending is a huge risk I for one am not willing to take especially since I'm disabled and not working. When I get the winnings from the lawsuit that's dealing with the aftermath of elder financial abuse by a fraudster who took advantage of my dad before he died, I'm pretty much putting it in my able account after getting a car on the road and paying any necessary expenses to get that car on the road. I'll definitely need money for repair and maintenance, plates, handicap placard and insurance. Sometimes you just have to plan ahead to prevent becoming a target for others to come to you wanting money. You have to keep your own needs in mind. Just keep looking ahead at your own needs, your bills and the uncertainty of your future. I know what I'm going to do is do my preneed through a friend of mine's funeral home, another expense I know I'm going to need to invest in, especially since right now I don't have any family and even if I did, I definitely wouldn't want to burden them with an unexpected expense of a funeral. I already have plans for a POD account to bake the funeral home the beneficiary, so no, there's no room for lending here, especially knowing I may never see that money again

We learned only when taking over my Mother's checkbook that she had been making "loans" to her agency caregiver - undocumented except for the memos in her checkbook such as "loan to Shannan for car." In the big picture, placing low-wage unskilled workers with vulnerable elders is a recipe for some type of abuse. It started small, $25 or $50, but within a year Mother had "loaned" Shannan almost $3000. For her part, Shannon did a good job. Mother looked forward to her daily visits and personal care she provided was needed and valued. My brother and I struggled with deciding whether to report our findings to her agency - we knew it would result in her being fired and replaced which would upset Mother. We had honored Mother's wish to stay in her home as long as possible but knew that needed to end; and without access to her checkbook, we knew the "loans" would end. We decided not to report Shannan, but arranged a meeting with her and Mother in which we discussed the problem and asked how they wanted to handle it. Shannan, divorced with 3 kids, tearfully admitted that she knew it was wrong but was simply unable to earn enough to get by. We honored Mother's wish to to gift the "loans" to her and she continued to visit Mother daily both on and off duty for about two months while we handled Mother's affairs and got her moved into Assisted Living. Shannan continued to visit and came to Mother's funeral 18 months later. I don't know whether we were right not to report her - but we did what we felt was best at the time for Mother, for us, and for Shannan.

NO NO NO NO

An absolute no. It is not your responsibility to pay for your caregiver's utilities.

WOW people. I am totally amazed at the stuff coming from this thread. I feel so terrible for the honest, compassionate, dedicated caregivers out there. This is NOT about you.
I was SO fortunate to have an amazing group of HHA's over the 4 year period when I needed them for first my Mom, and then 2 years later for my Dad. We had a 2 live in aids, one who I mentioned in an earlier post. The second one was so GREAT. I know she did not have it great. But she never asked me for one thing. She never asked my Dad for anything. She was with my Dad when he passed away and I was enroute to his house. I wanted to get in touch with her but that night she told me she would never speak to me again because it WAS AGAINST THE AGENCIES POLICY. She was a true professional. No matter what - the people you hire as caregivers are being paid a very good wage. Do NOT accept and think you have to take care of their personal hardships.

After reading some of these comments about the people who make it possible for caregiving not to absolutely kill the caregiver by assisting with your loved ones, I find some of the attitudes deplorable. I wonder if any who basically have the attitude that aides and sitters are all POOR PEOPLE so cannot be trusted around your loved ones is nauseating, to say the least. I feel sorry for people employed by some of you.

You need to report her to the agency she works for. It should be against their policy and they need to know she is asking her clients and their families for $. Once the agency is aware they should then check with anyone she has serviced and inquire if she has also been asking them.

Ihave1now has posted a workable solution.

You cannot not ascertain at all times, whether a plea for help is genuine or not.  At some point of time, everyone needs a bit of help from others,  So, what to do?  If the amount is not significant enough and you can part with it without creating any financial difficulty for yourself, then go ahead and give it to her as a personal check, after putting it in writing as a temporary loan with signatures from both parties and a witness. Indicate the acceptable terms of repayment. Tell the person that going forward, you want a professional relationship and you are not to be bothered again for another loan. Thst would be the proper way to go about it.

It does takes a bit of your time and effort, but you would have the satisfaction of helping someone out.  How often one gets an opportunity like that?  Some of us go about our own lives without spending much thought on what’s going on around us.   Maybe, this is a test of faith.

The winters are getting colder than usual due to climate change.  Does the caregiver have children?  Enquire about it and see what else you can do, if you have decided to help her out.

Don't start something you can't finish.

The reason I say No No No, is because you don't really know what type of people Caregivers are. People don't have to have a criminal background to be a user. Now if you have money to give away that's a different story, but you ask the question and I feel, people should keep work separate from things like that. (I'm going to want my birthday off) I can see MAYBE, giving gifts of ur choice at holidays & birthday, buy a person might need $200 dollars a few months later to pay a water bill and what happens when they can't pay you back,? You get upset, walk around with chip on your shoulders, find fault in everything they do and next thing you know, you want them fired. In these times, we need to think about what we doing before we leap.

Never had that happen, but in-home caregiving was minimal one-hour check and only lasted a few months as mom refused to let them in.

I would defer to what others have said in particular LesleeB:
"A caregiver taking money from a client, with or without permission, is usually a violation of licensure rules for the agency and could result in a loss of their license and/or Medicaid contracts."
I could not find anything about this during a quick search, however I would suspect ALL agencies would have this policy and this person is breaking the rules. It might be a legit need, however it is still against the rules. First you do not know what the real scoop is - has she been asking all her clients for this? Then, if you do agree to do this, what is to stop her from asking again and again?
Yes, it is wonderful if we can afford to be charitable to those in need, but this IS not only a moral issue, but an ethical one. I would have to say no. She needs to find a way around this, either making arrangements with the utilities, seeking charitable help (some mentioned churches) or seeing if one qualifies for any government aid.