I frequently read where it is the case, and I see it happening in my own experience with my parents. My older sister has always been my parent's golden child, and she is doing next to nothing to assist our elderly parents.
Ironically, my sibling owned a home care agency for 15 years where she staffed nursing homes. She sold it a few years ago, but I assume she would have retained knowledge in this field and she never applies it to help her own parents.
I used to do many things for our 85-year-old parents, but have stepped back a lot since it is unappreciated and largely overlooked. My parents never liked me better for it, and it never elevated my status. That is not the case with my sister though. Is it a sense of entitlement where those who grow up as the favorite child assume they do not stoop to the low level of caregiving? Is it that such people grow up never having to do anything for anyone else? Is it lack of empathy? I am curious what makes this a common dynamic.
I don't know what the answer is, but it sucks.
But then again, my narcissistic mother having dementia is karma. Brother having to care for her is also karma.
I am now focusing on raising my kids with all the love I never got as a child.
I feel you!!! My brother is the favorite and does nothing for our 93 year mom with dementia. I'm her caregiver and my relationship with my mom has always been a struggle. Nothing I ever did was good enough, but he's always the golden child! Like you, I don' understand this dynamic and it's very frustrating.
I am a non believer, but you may want to consider reading the tale of the prodigal son? It sometimes DOES seem that the parents love the ner-do-well, carefree, butterfly types who go their own way without a care.
It is interesting as well to know that often the one who is closest in proximity gets blamed for what is wrong with life. In the Capgras syndrome for instance the person becomes paranoid that someone is acting against them; and guess what--it's always the one who deals most with the parent.
So go your own way, make a happy carefree life full of wondrous joy-filled friend. Who knows? Maybe you will be the new favorite?