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My MIL is 77 years old and has been diagnosed with AD for about 5 years. She currently resides in a SNF in NY state. She is ambulatory for short distances, wears adult diapers, relies on care givers for moderate to maximal assistance for all self care. She is not able to reliably answer questions or follow more than one simple direction.
My husband and I are retired and have purchased a home in South Carolina where we intend to live 7 months of the year, living in NY in the summers. We would like to have my MIL close to where we will reside the majority of the time. We have researched and visited several nursing homes in South Carolina and have found 2 great options. My Mother in law is private pay and the cost savings of moving her to South Carolina is staggering.
Has anyone had experience moving their LO from one locale to another? We plan to move her via a commercial flight and we are considering hiring a nurse to accompany us. We are worried about her complying with airline rules ( wearing a mask etc) and the 2 flights (no direct flights)will be 2 hours each with a 1 hour period between the flights. We plan to use an airline wheelchair inside the airport. We would appreciate any advice regarding the proposed move!

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First I would contact the airline and find out if there is a way, given medical conditions if they would not require a face mask. If so get a doctors letter stating that she has dementia and can not wear a face mask.
If they will allow a doctor note that might make things easier.
If they still insist it might actually be easier to make the trip by car.
As to how to make it easier...
If possible try to find a very early flight or late flight so the airport is less busy and the possibility of delay is less
Be aware that she may find the strength of Sampson and resist help or even say she does not want to go.
On the other hand..all could go very well and you will have no problems at all. (Travel at any time with anyone is a 50/50 shot that things will go well)
Do anticipate that the move will cause a decline in her that may or may not "bounce back" to pre move baseline
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Me personally, I would not take her on a plane. She may become disruptive. I would not subject her to the security measures that have to be done. People suffering from Dementia do not do well outside their comfort zone. Then there is toileting. No way are you going to get two people into that bathroom. It was suggested one time, that a RV be used to transport someone. There would be a bed for naps, a bathroom, ect.
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dianedz Sep 2020
Thanks Joann. Not sure she would do well with that long of a trip. We do plan to have her medicated to reduce her anxiety.
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Thank you. Good idea about the Dr's note. Yes, we are looking at flights that would be the "best time" for my MIL and the airports are pretty empty as a rule right now. The trip by car usually takes us about 14-15 hours so that would be too tough for her.
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I just took a 6 hr road trip with a 93 Yr old. She really enjoyed it. She has dementia. We stayed in a hotel for a few nights. Drove another 6 hrs back. No problems. She was very tired when we arrived but was great the next morning. We were home two nights and then had to leave again. This time it was only three hours each way. Wore a mask willingly. Just told her it was the law. She accepted it. We got an ADA hotel room. Higher toilet seat. Roll in shower. Wider doorways. She uses a walker. After doing that I think I could take her on a plane but I wouldn’t want to right now due to Covid. She lives at home and is very isolated as a rule. But it felt safe and all in all it was very easy. She’s not combative or overly anxious. I have mild anxiety meds I can give her but did not need to. Each person is different. A 14 hour trip I would manage in two days.

If your MIL is in a phase of repeated questions, have some simple answers ready.

Question. Where are we going?
Answer. Home

Why are we on a plane?
To get home.

Why are we (they) wearing a mask.
Its the law.

Also listening to the radio was helpful to stop the nervous chatter. Your MIL might like headphones or EarPods with music? I haven’t tried that.

She probably won’t bother you about the bathroom if she has been incontinent for awhile.
Jusy change her every chance you get. Before take off, after landing, etc. With the flight broken up into two hour segments you will have time after each leg. Take her right when you land for the layover. An hour won’t be long but the airlines can help if you let them know what your concerns are.
You could also ask her caregivers what’s normal for her on the BMs. Keep her diet simple.
If it’s allowed where she lives now, I would try bringing her to your home before the flight as a trial run and to see how she does especially since she isn’t used to going out. You might pick up some idea of what her reaction would be and how easily she will go along with the agenda.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
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dianedz Sep 2020
Thanks for your advice! We can’t do any visitation at our SNF right now. While she (and my husband and I) couldn’t do an overnight, I understand the concept of breaking up the trip.
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Hello all,
Yesterday we moved my MIL from NY to SC. The trip went incredibly well! Even though the trip involved 2 flights, it went smoothly. We did not need to change her, we were able to assist her to walk short distances but used wheelchairs in the airports. She held her baby doll the whole time and that was key to keeping her calm. We are so happy that we moved her!
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