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My husband is retiring and we want to sell our home and move. My 89 year old mom has lived with me for over a year. Not at all a fun year for me. I’ve gained 12 pounds and I’m never really happy. But I’m it for my mom besides all my daughters and grandkids and I am deeply controlled my guilt. Honestly I really don’t like her. I feel bad sometimes cuz she’s old.

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Can you get her into Assisted Living?
Does she have physical or mental disabilities?

You're not doing her any favor to live with her, being controlled by guilt. If you're not happy, it will show.
Check out the senior options in your town (if she likes the area).

You can tell her you're downsizing or moving out of the area. Chances are she will want to stay in the area she's been living in and hopefully not want to go with you.

You'll need to get her settled before you move. Start looking now.
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I moved and moved my mother into an AL near where I moved. I moved her out of one where I had lived. She has adjusted as I am now in a generally somewhat friendly state. The cost is half of where she had been.
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Yes, you can do it but be prepared as it is another set of hoops you will have to jump through on every level making it happen. From finding a decent place at a reasonable cost, to all the mountains of paperwork, getting forms filled out, having all you legal paperwork ready, hiring movers, medical info done, TB tests, ohhh it’s loads of fun. Start now is my advise, it isn’t so simple as just finding a spot and getting her in there so I am learning. Oh, and not to mention the push back you may get from her. Don’t let the guilt overcome what you need to do for yourself and your husband.
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