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I'm back... and life just gets crappier with each pass week.


Last I posted not too long ago, I was concerned about my mother passing before my father and as it turns out mom is now in in-patient hospice and expected to pass in a week. Dad's mobility issues got worse so through the godsend of a social worker at his GP's office, I was able to get him back in a rehab facility for now. My fear is what's next? I am going to call the social worker at the rehab facility as I do not feel it safe for him to be discharged home. This is his third visit to rehab in 2 months and things are not getting better. He has trouble with most ADLs and is a bit incontinent.


I am in the process of finding someone to help me with the Medicaid app (still cannot find anyone charging under $6K) but if I push for him not being safe at home by himself does anyone know if rehab can help me get him into a more long-term facility? Or will they just discharge him? The money is the issue as he is Social Security Income only.


I am at the end of my tether with both parents in facilities, one dying, and me trying to juggle it all. Area on Aging has been helpful but they can only do so much.


Any thoughts? Again thanks, all. You have all been a great source of help and support.

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Yes, ask then too evaluate him for LTC. Hopefully one is attached to the rehab then a better trasition.
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The rehab facility should have a social worker or business manager on staff who can help with both finding a good long term placement for your dad and with the Medicaid application. When my mom needed Medicaid the business manager at the nursing home guided the whole process, it was never suggested we pay anyone for the service. You can even go back to the last hospital admission and contact the social worker there if you need to for help. Sorry you’re going through so much with both parents simultaneously, I wish you pockets of peace and rest
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Great big HUG!

I am sorry about your mom and the issues you are facing with dad. You have a lot on your plate and I just want to remind you to take care of you during this time as well. Good food and as much rest as possible will help you get through all of this.

The rehab should be able to direct you and/or help. My dad went from rehab to a facility with the help of the social worker at rehab. Best of luck getting this dealt with quickly to ease your burden.
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This may be too late, but you should be having a care conference with the rehab staff and get their recommendation for the next step of care. This helped us twice. Once dad was referred to AL and the second stay in rehab got him into LTC.
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SZHNJ1023 Jun 2019
Yes I’m calling over there today. Thanks.
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I just wanted to say I can really understand what you are going through. I also have my Mom in skilled nursing and my Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. I am waiting the end of a long road of Medicaid application hoops, one of which was a denial because they claimed I “withdrew the application”! Hang in there and use whatever resources you can...the social workers at rehab, agencies on aging, etc.
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SZHNJ1023 Jun 2019
Thank you, I’m trying. This is truly a nightmare. I appreciate knowing I’m not alone, though!
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Rehab cannot discharge him to an unsafe environment so you must now make it clear to rehab (start at once) that he is not safe at home alone or even with caretakers visiting him, and that he must now go to placement. The truth is when there is NO FAMILY the social workers get the medicaid app done as well when there is no money. Are you his power of attorney? Has he "spent down" to where he must be for medicaid? If not you can spend his funds on that "helper" to get the app done. Do put all you can on the social workers as it is what they are there for and what they are good at. When my bro was in rehab I got them to do so much. It was over the period of a month but they got transit applications done for transit for ADL and so much more. Speak to a social worker at once. Tell them that going home is no longer an option for him, and he must have placement; explain the basics of his financial and go from there. When discharge is spoken of make clear he must have placement; do not allow for anything else such as home visits (very expensive and usually a waste at this point as 24/7 care is what is needed. Good luck!
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I am so sorry to hear you are going through this with both parents. I just went through this; before my Mom cane home a month ago I had to consider a long term facility. The Case Workers were able to give me a list of local facilities, and I also went to the Medicare website where they list facilities along with thier ratings. I personally toured a few, which made me feel a bit more comfortable at least knowing what the environments were like. I even asked a few residents how they liked living there. I asked for personal referrals via our local NextDoor app and from acquaintances. After just a month, like you, I am exhausted and a bit depressed. I feel it's because I am doing it all for my Mother and feeling it may not have been the right choice for the family after all. So do what you must; we do not know how long we have on this planet; please make a plan to care for yourself as others have stated. Do not do things you can't do anymore, get help. Ask a friend if you have to. But yes, the facility Caseworker will help you. And if your father cannot afford it, Medicaid is there for him. It is one reason why we all pay taxes; to help those in need. My father received great care through his end of life despite his income in his old age. It will all work out, then you can find some peace 💖
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Our state Medicaid has an assisted living choices waiver. My mother of 84 years is Social Security only, but no assets. She was approved almost four years ago for AL choices waiver. She pays her portion leaving her $67 a month which is fine as everything she needs is provided.
Check with social worker and or your DHS office.
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Prior to discharge the facility will has to have a meeting to discuss the discharge plan. At that time they will let you know if your loved one need to continue with long-term care. If so, they should help you arrange for care.
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Sending you hugs from across the pond. I do hope that when the time comes for Dad to be considered for an alternative to rehab and assessment will be done and they will put forward their views and assist in finding the right support for him. It is absolutely terrible that people would charge such excessive amounts for filling in everyday forms, you have all my sympathy in being put through that disgraceful money making by people at such a difficult time. I shall never complain about our bureaucracy again, at least we can do all these forms for our self or get appropriate charity to assist with forms because they see so many.
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Good afternoon,

Run from those requiring huge sums to help with the Medicaid application. We never paid anyone. Fill out what you can do yourself, then get help from the Medicaid office, Social Worker, or other official at the Long Term Care facility you have chosen. I found that the Medicaid staff were very kind and helpful. I know you are overwhelmed, but there is a little legwork you have to do, (banking statements, etc,) to avoid paying a lawyer to do it. Provided your father’s Rehab facility also has LTC, he can be admitted under “Medicaid Pending” status. The actual approval of Medicaid may take several months, but not usually. This gives you the time to take a breath and go through the process while he is already getting the care he needs. Once he is approved, the LTC facility will recoup the money from Medicaid for the time he was under Pending status. I know it seems insurmountable, but it isn’t. Take one day, hour, minute at a time. One application, form, phone call at a time. Deep breaths!
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Rehab will Discuss the Possibility of a Long Term facility...A Social worker of the Facility is on Hand for your Convenience....
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Your Area on Aging won't help you with filling out the Medicaid application? We do these all the time at my office. They are very time consuming, complicated and not fun but we help do them. The biggest thing is getting all the documentation together and then just filling it out line by line. Maybe they have a volunteer that could help you do this. You shouldn't have to pay anyone to file a Medicaid application. If nothing else DSS should look it over if you fill it in by yourself and let you know if anything is missing or filled out wrong. The other possibility is the social worker at the Rehab/Nursing home helping you file. I had to fill one out for my mother when she was in rehab and needed to stay in the nursing home between rehab treatments. It was difficult but not impossible. It was one of the things that got me interested in volunteering in our local Office for Aging to help people with Medicare and Medicaid applications. Good luck!
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See if the rehab part of the facility has a long term care unit.
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