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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My mother has lived in Assisted Living and now Memory Care AL since 2014. In that time, she's fallen 62x. If she was living with me, we'd have called EMS 62x to come pick her up from the floor. And that's just ONE example of the care needs she's required over the years. She's fallen at least 10x in the shower alone, and that's with a fortress like shower, special handles built in, wearing water shoes and a caregiver to help her in and out and wash her body and hair. She sees the doctor once a week, in house, who's ordered more xrays, urine tests, blood tests and all sorts of other tests than I can mention, all in house, and it's been a Godsend like you can't believe. Last time she had a bad tooth, it was a wisdom tooth she STILL had in her mouth at 93 years old. I had a mobile dentist come in to do a surgical extraction inside of her room (anxiety issues and dementia are present) and for once, the whole thing didn't turn into the horrible ordeal it NORMALLY does with my DH trying to muscle her into the car and to the oral surgeon's office, listening to her chuffing with anxiety and saying "Jesus Mary & Joseph" the entire car ride.
She has regular blow-out's in the bathroom which the caregivers cheerfully clean up for her, without saying a word. Same goes for the almost-daily linen changes that need to happen due to her incontinence and saturating the bed nightly. Oh, and all the Depends changes that occur daily that she can't manage on her own. The caregivers do that for her as well. Along with all the medication dispensing, all the constant medication changes the doctor orders and the pharmacy delivers straight to the AL......just that ALONE is a Godsend like I can't even tell you.
I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the idea. Nobody has the slightest idea of ALL the care requirements that an elder has until they're actually faced with it. Not being able to visit your LO in managed care is truly the least of it. You can window visit, you can call on the phone to your heart's content, and you can leave all the myriad of caregiving to qualified teams of people instead of to YOU, who works full time already. When will there be time or the head to do all this 'visiting' anyway, if you're being truthful with yourself? What's left after all is said and done is mostly resentment if you take a loved one into your home, and that's the truth.
Wishing you good luck and Godspeed with your decision.
You say in your profile that you work full time, and don't have the physical or financial means. So he would need a professional caregiver to help. Medicaid helps with a certain amount of hours. Check your state. Or he can pay for a caregiver.
Read the other cases here. It's a full time job taking care of a parent. When you come home from work, you have more work. Can you do that? A long term care facility, might be needed for him. So he gets the care he needs.
The Medicaid answer is a question to be passed by your own Medicaid worker. The rules vary state to state. As to whether it is a good idea to have the elder come to your home, you need first of all to understand what 24/7 care entails, how much it impacts you, how much family you otherwise have in your care (children? ) and as to whether each and every family member is on board with this care. Do you understand what it is to deal with incontinence, wandering, whatever may come along in decades of care? It comes down to personality and family dynamics and your knowledge of all involved in 24/7 care. What care contract will be formed? Do you understand being responsible to the entirety of a person's life, financial, physical and emotional? If you are on forum a lot then you are learning a lot. For me, I have been aware, despite being a nurse and loving that job, that I could NEVER EVER and not for a day deal with 24/7 care. So basically this needs to be an informed decision after thorough agreement with entire family. And it needs to be clear that when it is not working for one family member, then it is not working at all, and placement is a necessity. That should be clear to the elder and to all the family. I would always advise against taking on 24/7 care of an elder. I think it goes beyond a qualification for Sainthood. I think it is impossibly hard for all who undertake it. But that is me. Others will advise differently, and only YOU know your situation, your ability to take this on emotionally, financially, sacrificially, your families abilities to help and determination. So that is to say this is your decision, and whatever you do, know that if you try this it may or it may not work for you, and it may change with time. I wish you the best of luck in your decision.
thank you for your honesty, my other sisters and I just hate the fact that we can't vist my dad in the nursing facility. so not only did he just lose his wife of 71 years, now he cant even be with family. It is very difficult.
If you work full time and neither you or your father can afford to hire a caregiver then bringing him to your home is a terrible idea. Medicaid won’t pay for a nurse and if he qualifies for a caregiver, at most Medicaid will only pay for 20-40 hours a week which means YOU will be his caregiver for at least 16 hours a day during the week and 24/7 on the weekends.
The most simple answer is to read the stories from folks on this forum who out of the goodness of their hearts, decided to take their parent(s) in, and sadly most lived to regret it. It's a lot, no ifs ands or buts. I guess it would really depend on what exactly you'll be dealing with with their care, and if they require 24/7 care or not. Do you have family support? If not, don't even for one second entertain the idea of your parent moving in with you. It's hard enough without having the support of your family. And just know that the life that you now know will be gone, and turned completely upside down. It can be done, but without a doubt it is very hard. As far as whether or not Medicaid will send a nurse out to the home, I don't see why not. It just may not be as often as you would like. I didn't read you profile, but if your parent is very ill, they will qualify for hospice care, which can be done in home or in a nursing facility. They will send a nurse once a week to check vitals, and an aide will come twice a week to bathe them. They will also supply any needed medical equipment, medications, and supplies, all at no charge to her or you, as it will all be covered under your parents Medicare. Think long and hard before you make any life changing decisions. Best wishes.
How is your dad paying for his care now? How long has he been in the NH? ‘If he was being abused he possibly feels better than he has in awhile right where he is.
No doubt it costs Medicaid more money to care for your dad in a facility than they will pay for him to live in your home with community Medicaid services. As has already been mentioned that is generally just a few hours with a caregiver. You would still need to facilitate an overlay of medical care, meds and appointments.
‘The Area Agency on Aging site for your area lists numbers you can call to better understand the services that might be available for you and your dad. Here is the link.
Regardless of where he lives the care he needs will increase as he ages. Since you are also aging and have limitations of your own, you too will be less able as time goes by. If he was approved for NH care then he must already be at need for 24/7 care.
Visiting him in his NH, attending his care meetings, observing whether the goals his care team have outlined are being performed etc will be quiet a bit of work along with your full time job. If you feel the NH he lives in is too far away or not providing him with the care he needs, you might search for another but given the elements you have laid out, it sounds like you and your dad may have already found a working solution for his care needs.
As you say, there is a lot to learn and that is true regardless of where he lives, It is a hard job keeping someone functioning after the body goes into decline. Look up Instrumental Activities of Daily Living and Activities of Daily Living. Read the book “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande and The 36 Hour Day. Encourage your sister to do the same. Being a Power of Attorney allows you to do for your dad what he would like for you to do, but you must watch out for your own health for both your sakes. Best of luck.
Your Dad is in 24/7 care for a reason. I understand where ur coming from but its not a responsibility I would take on. Or expect someone else to do either.
As said Medicaid does not supply RNs or LPNs. You get a CNA who is not medically trained. Cannot give shots, cannot do pill planners or administer meds unless a medtech. Their responsibilities are doing the physical care of the recipient. Bathing, dressing, changing Depends and bedding. Maybe getting a meal ready and cleaning up any mess the aide or recipient may make. As worried said, you only get a few hours a day. Round the clock care costs as much or more than a NH. Then, you have the problem with the aide showing up at all. Maybe u or Mom don't like her. Lots of stress.
Your Dad is in 24/7 care for a reason. I understand where ur coming from but its not a responsibility I would take on. Or expect someone else to do either.
As said Medicaid does not supply RNs or LPNs. You get a CNA who is not medically trained. Cannot give shots, cannot do pill planners or administer meds unless a medtech. Their responsibilities are doing the physical care of the recipient. Bathing, dressing, changing Depends and bedding. Maybe getting a meal ready and cleaning up any mess the aide or recipient may make. As worried said, you only get a few hours a day. Round the clock care costs as much or more than a NH. Then, you have the problem with the aide showing up at all. Maybe u or Dad won't like her. Lots of stress.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She has regular blow-out's in the bathroom which the caregivers cheerfully clean up for her, without saying a word. Same goes for the almost-daily linen changes that need to happen due to her incontinence and saturating the bed nightly. Oh, and all the Depends changes that occur daily that she can't manage on her own. The caregivers do that for her as well. Along with all the medication dispensing, all the constant medication changes the doctor orders and the pharmacy delivers straight to the AL......just that ALONE is a Godsend like I can't even tell you.
I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the idea. Nobody has the slightest idea of ALL the care requirements that an elder has until they're actually faced with it. Not being able to visit your LO in managed care is truly the least of it. You can window visit, you can call on the phone to your heart's content, and you can leave all the myriad of caregiving to qualified teams of people instead of to YOU, who works full time already. When will there be time or the head to do all this 'visiting' anyway, if you're being truthful with yourself? What's left after all is said and done is mostly resentment if you take a loved one into your home, and that's the truth.
Wishing you good luck and Godspeed with your decision.
Medicaid helps with a certain amount of hours. Check your state. Or he can pay for a caregiver.
Read the other cases here. It's a full time job taking care of a parent.
When you come home from work, you have more work. Can you do that?
A long term care facility, might be needed for him. So he gets the care he needs.
All the best
As to whether it is a good idea to have the elder come to your home, you need first of all to understand what 24/7 care entails, how much it impacts you, how much family you otherwise have in your care (children? ) and as to whether each and every family member is on board with this care. Do you understand what it is to deal with incontinence, wandering, whatever may come along in decades of care?
It comes down to personality and family dynamics and your knowledge of all involved in 24/7 care.
What care contract will be formed? Do you understand being responsible to the entirety of a person's life, financial, physical and emotional? If you are on forum a lot then you are learning a lot.
For me, I have been aware, despite being a nurse and loving that job, that I could NEVER EVER and not for a day deal with 24/7 care.
So basically this needs to be an informed decision after thorough agreement with entire family. And it needs to be clear that when it is not working for one family member, then it is not working at all, and placement is a necessity. That should be clear to the elder and to all the family.
I would always advise against taking on 24/7 care of an elder. I think it goes beyond a qualification for Sainthood. I think it is impossibly hard for all who undertake it. But that is me. Others will advise differently, and only YOU know your situation, your ability to take this on emotionally, financially, sacrificially, your families abilities to help and determination. So that is to say this is your decision, and whatever you do, know that if you try this it may or it may not work for you, and it may change with time.
I wish you the best of luck in your decision.
How is your dad paying for his care now? How long has he been in the NH? ‘If he was being abused he possibly feels better than he has in awhile right where he is.
No doubt it costs Medicaid more money to care for your dad in a facility than they will pay for him to live in your home with community Medicaid services. As has already been mentioned that is generally just a few hours with a caregiver. You would still need to facilitate an overlay of medical care, meds and appointments.
‘The Area Agency on Aging site for your area lists numbers you can call to better understand the services that might be available for you and your dad. Here is the link.
https://www.naperville.il.us/services/senior-services-and-resources/general-information-for-seniors/
Regardless of where he lives the care he needs will increase as he ages. Since you are also aging and have limitations of your own, you too will be less able as time goes by. If he was approved for NH care then he must already be at need for 24/7 care.
Visiting him in his NH, attending his care meetings, observing whether the goals his care team have outlined are being performed etc will be quiet a bit of work along with your full time job. If you feel the NH he lives in is too far away or not providing him with the care he needs, you might search for another but given the elements you have laid out, it sounds like you and your dad may have already found a working solution for his care needs.
As you say, there is a lot to learn and that is true regardless of where he lives, It is a hard job keeping someone functioning after the body goes into decline. Look up Instrumental Activities of Daily Living and Activities of Daily Living. Read the book “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande and The 36 Hour Day. Encourage your sister to do the same. Being a Power of Attorney allows you to do for your dad what he would like for you to do, but you must watch out for your own health for both your sakes. Best of luck.
As said Medicaid does not supply RNs or LPNs. You get a CNA who is not medically trained. Cannot give shots, cannot do pill planners or administer meds unless a medtech. Their responsibilities are doing the physical care of the recipient. Bathing, dressing, changing Depends and bedding. Maybe getting a meal ready and cleaning up any mess the aide or recipient may make. As worried said, you only get a few hours a day. Round the clock care costs as much or more than a NH. Then, you have the problem with the aide showing up at all. Maybe u or Mom don't like her. Lots of stress.
As said Medicaid does not supply RNs or LPNs. You get a CNA who is not medically trained. Cannot give shots, cannot do pill planners or administer meds unless a medtech. Their responsibilities are doing the physical care of the recipient. Bathing, dressing, changing Depends and bedding. Maybe getting a meal ready and cleaning up any mess the aide or recipient may make. As worried said, you only get a few hours a day. Round the clock care costs as much or more than a NH. Then, you have the problem with the aide showing up at all. Maybe u or Dad won't like her. Lots of stress.