I have an aging mother with mobility problems, vision problems, and fecal incontinence. I also have multiple sclerosis (not in a wheelchair). I never wanted to put the thought of a nursing home in my mind, but that's all I can do. But until then, what are some informative clues on how to bathe, get the nursing home, and how to address my sanity?
I'm always a bit concerned to see that people are posting at two o' clock in the morning! Are you having a rough night? I'm in the UK so I'm often around at strange times, but you should be asleep in bed!
I see from your profile that your mother has a broken hip, is that correct? When did that happen?
Practical matters: what sort of support, if any, do you currently have from your mother's medical and health care teams?
My mom has PT and a bathing nurse coming out, weekly. It's helpful, but everyone needs to bath more often than they provide.
When my mother injured her knee in a fall and could not walk for several weeks, she was still able to stand for several minutes using a walker for balance. Since she could stand, that made changing the incontinence panty fairly easy, even following a bowel movement. I used disposable wipes to remove feces, then a washcloth and a no rinse soap for a final cleaning after ever panty change. Tossed the washcloths in a bucket and washed them at the end of day. A disposal underpad kept the lift recliner seat and/or bed clean from any minor panty leaks. It took a few tries but I was able to find a panty that didn't leak much or often. Some panties absorbed well but always seems to leak a little. Since I have a bad back, I found sitting on a stool while I cleaned my mother was easier than standing and bending over.
Bathing was much the same. Got the room warm and used towels as cover for Mom didn't get cold. Mom sat in the chair or on the side of the bed while I used two plastic wash tubs filled with hot water. I soaped a washcloth, Mom preferred to wash her face, ears, neck herself. Rinsed out the washcloth in the "soap' tub, then the "rinse" tub and wiped the soap off her body. Repeat on all the body portions you can reach while she was sitting, then she stood while I washed the rest.
If your mother cannot stand for a few minutes, then you would need to place towels on the bed and roll your mother onto her uninjured side while you clean her.
Since she's has a broken hip, you should be able to get Medicare provided bath aids and even some PT for Mom; start with calling the PCP's office. Your Area Agency/Council on Aging (AAA) should be able to help you get some pre-placement help too. AAA should also be able to help with finding NH placement options. I'm actually surprised she didn't go to a rehab following the broken hip and that would have allowed an easy transition to a NH. Did you bring her home and then find/acknowledge you cannot meet all her needs?
Try not to stress out too much as that's not good for your MS at all. Take things one at a time and don't stress out when things aren't "perfect". The washing machine and white vinegar as a laundry additive are your friends. Disposable or peapod under mats are very good friends. Getting Mom clean is important but how long it takes is not.
The main thing about about the cleaning for me is the bending. I am getting to be a pro at this though, but I know it's only if something happens to me. My MS has shown its head a few times over these few years. I am working hard to get my mom into a NH. It would be helpful to both of us.
I also use baking soda and pine sol, but I'll have to try that white vinegar, though. I need to go to her PCP and get them to get some bath aids. She has the PT and 2 bathing sessions.
I have been working with AAA and her doctor's office. We will have something down momentarily.
And YES MS flares up with stress. It is different per person.
My mom is on the long list for the Medicaid. Her pay is a breeze above the limit for regular Medicaid.
This is the step that you need to take to get her qualified for Medicaid.
Contact your local area council on aging and they will be able to tell you how to go about getting her qualified.
My dad makes 14.00 to much monthly to qualify. Such a struggle.
Take care and let us know how it works out. Hugs!
I just recently saw your message. Been very busy.
I read over the Miller's trust. Not really understanding what they do with the excess money. I didn't get to the area council on aging, but I believe we are at a good place now. I will attempt to try tomorrow. I would like some understanding on that subject.
I know she doesn't qualify for Medicaid, but she needs care now.
This allows your mom to meet the Medicaid requirements and offsets the amount of money the state pays through their LTC program. This will show up if there is additional assets, like a house that they can try to recover from.
Each state has it's own maximum income limits, so you should get a Medicaid application from your state and that will help you understand how much she is allowed and what you can do for spend down of assets.
I don't think a miller miller trust is a diy, I would find a certified elder law attorney and have a consultation. www.nelf.org can help you find attorneys in your area, I found that they were not expensive in comparison to other attorneys and they deal with this stuff daily, so they don't spend as much time researching the laws. Resulting in a cheaper cost.
Does that help?