My parents and siblings were always close, but since my Mother passed, my two brothers and I do not get together much anymore. My younger brother who is intelligent and educated has really pulled back from a relationship with myself and my other brother.
I had put him down as my Executor and POA for everything years ago when I had my will done. He has no children, is married, but he and his wife are very private and don't care to share anything. They also criticize everyone. They are perfect and everyone else that has a problem or concern is not of interest to them. I know he does not want to be bothered with me or my other brother. He and his wife have turned very cold toward family. It's very sad.
I have no one else to put in charge of my affairs. I have no children or close relatives or friends. What can I do? I really don't want to pay an attorney to do it. I have a niece, but we are not real close and I don't know that I can trust her and her husband to be honest when handling my money.
Any knowledgeable advice you can share with me will be appreciated.
I've been planning to work on setting up a trust for the last couple of years. Really want to get it done this year.
They are licensed and bonded. Have an attorney do your Revocable living trust listing yourself ( as long as capable) as trustee with fiduciary listed as successor trustee.
Just as a special needs trust can provide for a dependent child - a pet trust for pets - this can provide for your financial administration if you can't.
You need to decide what care/ who/ and have the finances to pay for it and put it in trust.
I would not trust or burden any family member with this.
Their fees can be retainers until time of need (some do not charge until needed) and then a set amount to administer the financial aspects. They can see the care giving is done per terms of trust as long as you have provided funds to pay for or stipulated what you want in the event you are incapable.
I would rather do this than trust the court or family.
Ask local churches for references or ask for referrals from other people in situations similar to your own. It is important that the person be honest and reliable.
Senior Services and Area Agency on Aging may offer names of people or services to help you, but I find these referrals are often generic and not a good fit for what is needed.
Second, list your assets, real estate, financial, collectibles and anything else. Given the description of your relatives, it doesn't seem as though they would be inheritance candidates.
Third, think about who you want to have your assets, and more specifically, which ones might be donated. E.g., if you have financial assets and want to donate them to charity, contact that charity. Charities have their own forms for donation, and the asset will go directly to them, or they'll handle the work needed to make the donation happen on notification of passing.
Fourth, the goal is to create situations in which your assets pass directly to the entities you have chosen. A will would address this. Even though you don't want to hire an attorney, a law firm (not a single attorney) would be in a position to handle asset distribution effectively, or at least supervise contacts after your passing.
There's another benefit for attorney involvement though: to keep any of your relatives from becoming involved.
I am in somewhat of the same situation in that all the immediate family that I am close to is deceased. My foster son lives in Asia. My friends of my age .... it is a coin toss who will survive who. But I have made wonderful friends in my life (yes, a few of them are younger than me) and some of them are even better than family. I have designated 1 with 2 contingencies and my attorney will fill the gap if none of them are available. It situation occurs more than you might think.
Good Luck in your quest.
Often there are banks that will do trusts and the like. If there is one in your area that does you might inquire if they would also do the management of all other aspects.
There are Geriatric Care Managers that might also do this. Not sure if they would be less expensive than a lawyer though.
I think that a lawyer should be the one to handle it. So many people live so long that they lose their close friends. The friends and other family members die first. It’s sad about your brother being distant. Are you close to your other brother? Would he do it? Is he younger or older than you are?
When is the last time that you spoke with your brother that is distant and listed as the one to take care of legal matters?
My older brother just now has become a little more communicative with me since my Mother's death. I had to press him to leave my Mother's house after she died. He was living there for free. He is five years older than me and has no business sense, so he would not be able to handle anything for me.