I took my mom in with me and my husband less than a year ago... against her wishes. She has early Alzheimers dementia and couldn’t live alone anymore . It wasn’t safe for her to be alone. So we did what we thought was the right thing. Almost a year later my husband feels it was more than he bargained for and being in his 60’s is starting to get depressed himself. He feels she should be in a home although I’m on the fence I cherish both my husband and my mom I can’t stand to see my husband feeling like the life is being sucked from him by living with my mom. I’m just so stressed knowing if I do go ahead and get her placed she will not only give up since she says she finds no joy in life anymore but I’m not going to be able to spend time with her due to this awful Covid crisis restrictions.
Any advice or words of encouragement?
If this was his mom living in your house sucking the life out of you, would you want your husband to be on the fence as to what to do?
If you were your mother living with one of your kids and you were sucking the life out of your kid's spouse, what would you do if you were in your right mind? Would you want your kid to be a widow/er or divorcee and when you die, your kid will be all alone?
What sort of facilities are you considering? Have you talked to your mother about this?
I'm puzzled by a few details. You say your mother has "early" Alzheimers dementia; but if it's early, how are you taking these major life decisions for her against her own wishes? You also list quite a number of other health difficulties. What kind of professional support are you getting towards her care?
Altogether I wonder if you're feeling too much responsibility for factors which actually aren't within your control. It must be incredibly stressful for you, and you're setting yourself up to fail, too.
Yes I may have made the wrong decision by moving her in with us but now I feel there’s no other choice but a nursing home for her. I do have things in place and have a few places in mind but this whole Covid thing makes it hard to pull the trigger.