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My father has dementia and mom is wheelchair bound but completely cognizant. I as the daughter have been named Healthcare Proxy. After my dad wandered out one night, Elder Services became involved and sent a psychologist to their home unnanounced and without my presence telling them that there is a law in MA that states they have the authority to place my dad in a nursing home and force them to sell their home for payment against their wishes. Is this true?

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In Mass, I do not know. Medicaid is administered differently in each state. But, yes adult protective services has the responsibility to ensure that the elderly and other incapacitated people are receiving proper care and are safe. They do not have the right to sell the home to pay for care. Under Medicaid a home and one car are exempt assets. However, Medicaid will place liens on the house for future reimbursement of care provided under the program.

It is s best to cooperate with APS they are trying to help. Maybe mom is not able to provide the necessary care any longer. Do you live with them?
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Is this what your mother reported to you?

Call APS for clarification.   Did mom get a business card from the person who visited?

I would cooperate with them and ask for the help in getting more assistance for your parents.

What is your immediate plan for keeping dad from wandering, I.e. safe?
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Part of your concern seems to be that you were not asked to be present, yet you say your mom is completely cognizant?

APS has no way of knowing of your healthcare proxy, do they?     Unless mom said " I'd like my daughter to be here. Please call her and let's set up a meeting" or, " let me get my daughter on speaker phone".

When an elder with dementia wanders, the person is a danger to himself.  The state has the right and duty to step in and protect your father.

In most states, if there is a spouse in the home, it can't
 be sold while the spouse lives in it, so your mother would have lifetimes rights to live there. But a lien would  be placed by Medicaid to recoup payment for services.
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