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Mom is 86 and in the early stages of Parkinson's. My stepdad is 82 and has a wide range of medical issues. Both are in good mental condition, though get overwhelmed by a lot of information and a lot of choices. Their combined income is $5,000 a month and they have some savings. Their savings will run out within five years if they move into Assisted Living with added care in Ventura, CA. Stepdad refuses to leave that area because he does not want to have to find new doctors and needs the temperate climate for his COPD. He has no family that will help. Mom's kids are not in a position to help financially but would otherwise help except we all live across the country. I have contacted a Geriatric Care Manager in Ventura but she charges $100 per hour and this would sap their savings. Is there somewhere else they can turn for lower-priced guidance beyond what the Area Council on Aging can provide?

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In 5 years your mother will be 91 and Step Dad 87. How long do you think they will live without nursing home care after that? Parkinson's can lead to dementia over time, perhaps an AL with other levels of care would be appropriate for your parents.

$100/hr for professional advice and support is not very much, specially when you compare it to the cost of family have to take time off work and fly out to sort things out for the parents. Now is also a good time for your parents to meet with an Elder Law Attorney and make sure their affairs are in order and they know what they can and cannot do now that could impact their eligibility for Medicaid should it be needed in the future.

As your parents have money it is up to them to pay for the services they need. When their money runs out then they apply for Medicaid.

There are several people here who do manage their parents from a distance.
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Is someone their durable and medical POA? If not, then you need to be. Without the medical POA, you will not be able to talk with either doctor about their health or make medical decisions if and when they are not able to. Without the durable POA, you will not be able to oversee and handle their finances as each of them reaches the point where they can no longer do this in a business like manner because they are mentally disabled. This will also empower you to deal with their tax returns and even have a CPA do them which you sign as their POA, plus sent in a copy of the durable POA in with the tax return.
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Thank you cmagnum and Tothill. Good information there. Mom and Stepdad have finally agreed to consult with an Elder Law Attorney. They have been resisting the expense but I have convinced them of the need. They even found one who will make evening in-home visits. He can handle the poa paperwork for them and advise them regarding Medicaid after their savings have been exhausted.

I like the idea of the Geriatric Care Manager but by the time she charges for the time she spends with her clients, the time she spends on the computer and phone regarding their care, and the time she spends on the phone and emailing me, the cost will go sky-high very soon. Mom is trying to be frugal, fearing she will outlive her money. She is going to try to make do on her own, though I don't know how successful she will be.

Mom and Stepdad have been making do with hired drivers and housekeepers in their apartment. Mom has finally agreed to start touring Assisted Living communities. I hope she finds one she likes. She can have someone take care of her for a change, instead of being Stepdad's caregiver. She deserves this in her life and is eager for it to happen. I love her so much and want her to be as happy as possible for as long as she can.

Thank you, AgingCare.com for this website and the forum. I have learned so much!
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