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She is in at least stage 5 of dementia. Every storm we have is the worst one she's ever seen and things might come in the window and hurt us. When there's wind, she's afraid it's going to blow her down. Once she said it might blow the school bus over and half of them would die. When we went to see bison she told people that the farmer said they would kill you. He didn't. Now when it rains she watches the patio and says the water is coming right up to the house and she's afraid it's going to come in. It's nowhere near. The very edge of the patio is all that's wet. I'm sad that she feels afraid and also it's hard for me to hear and try to soothe her. Who decides when she might need some medication, what are options and how do we decide?

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You must decide with the help of her doctor. Paranoia and delusions are very much a part of this awful disease. Call her doctor and share with him/her what you’ve told us. There are some new meds out now that other posters have said are wonderful. This is a sad situation and I hope you can find some help and peace for her.
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What kind of doctor is her PCP? Is the doctor experienced with dementia? Unless her PCP is a geriatrician I think I might take her to a geriatric psychiatrist or a neurologist specializing in dementia. I hope there will be some medication to give her some relief.

In general with delusions going along with them -- that is, not arguing about them -- is considered best practice. "You are right, Mom, high winds could tip a bus over. I'm so glad there is no tornado predicted for now. The winds are high, but not that bad now." "I see the water starting on the patio. I'm so glad the builder slanted it away from the house, so it won't come in here." "Bad storms really can be destructive, can't they? The weather service says this one is not that bad, but let's move away from the windows, just in case. In fact, let's go into the den and have some ice cream while we wait for the storm to subside."

The idea is to let her know you take her concerns seriously, to reassure her about her safety, and if possible to distract her onto another topic.

I'm not suggesting this approach instead of seeing a doctor. Both can be helpful.
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@Jeannegibbs, her dr is just an internist. I was wondering about what kind of doctor but didn't express that well. Thanks.
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As my Mom has progressed, we took her to a Neur. 2 weeks ago. She has been taking anti-depressants and depakote and Namenda. The fear had been getting completely out of control on storms also. We added Exelon (all generics) working up to 3 mg. yesterday. I think as her brain has changed so much, she needed the extra help. This has been a great relief to me and to her also. She has calmed down on the fears so much. It takes awhile to find each person just the right meds. She had such awful anxiety each evening with Sundowning. Her Regular Doctor is wonderful but the Neur. Specialized in Dementia and he really helped her. I was against meds. at first but they relieve her so much. Hang in there. Grace and Peace.
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Sorry to hear about your Mom. Like everyone has said, take her to another Dr and maybe he will prescribe new meds. Hopefully they will help. Good luck.
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We are trying St John Wart (300 mg) on my mom. The chemical anti depressants seem to make her own personality disappear and I don't like after a few days she says "I just don't feel like myself". I am taking it to and these days are a little better.
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My mom went through the same thing. This had nothing to do with storms or anything she would just always say that she was afraid. With her, reoccurring chronic UTIs was a huge issue. My mom is 93 years old. She has been to the emergency room several times With severe symptoms. Night times were terrible here her body wanted to sleep but her mine wouldn’t let her. Eventually she was referred to a psych doctor per Her previous doctors for a geriatric specialist and a neurologist. I know we hate to hear the words psych doctor. She is currently in a nursing facility and one of the medications added to the few that she take is Seroquel 25 mil at 9:00 am and 9 pm. Since then she has not been suffering from hallucinations
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We have had some success with Lorazapan (sp?) in pill form. Here helpers say it takes about 30 minutes for it to kick in, but it gets results. One of my mom's helpers, who dealt with this issue with her own parents, recommended the liquid form of this, which she said kicks in after only 5 minutes. So I am in the process of trying to get this prescription filled. Hope this helps.
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I've never had any luck with St. John's wort. My mom, too, is more worried and fearful. We see her neuropsychologist this week; perhaps he will have some suggestions. Thanks for raising this issue.
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Thank you, everyone!
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