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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My 95 year old Mom who has dementia / Alzheimer's will ask me where her husband (my Dad) is and I tell her the truth that he passed away. She responds "oh that's right, I forgot"... Then she'll add that he was a good man, a good husband and father.
Gently and truthfully and likely over and over again, as he will not remember. Their minds go into a loop with questions often enough. Eventually another subject may displace this one. I hope so.
If the answer that she is dead is disturbing and causing him to be upset and grieve again, I would not tell him that she's gone. I would be kind and tell him some vague statement that she went to the store or is at an appointment. Whatever, just no need to upset him over and over.
Sometimes asking "where do you think they are?" is a good strategy, they might surprise you by responding with the correct answer.... "Oh, she died didn't she." "I know you miss her dad, so do I. Remember when..."
But when they don't you can use their response to frame the conversation.... "I suppose she's gone to one of her meetings again" "Yes, she's always busy doing something, lets just watch your program for now"....
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I find the truth is always better.
Good luck,
Jenna
"Oh, she died didn't she." "I know you miss her dad, so do I. Remember when..."
But when they don't you can use their response to frame the conversation....
"I suppose she's gone to one of her meetings again" "Yes, she's always busy doing something, lets just watch your program for now"....
Diverting his attention is a better option. Try "she's not here right now," and go on to some other topic.