He has had two brain hemorrhages as a result of falls. This monitor is not only for his safety, but for a small amount of freedom for me. He doesn’t seem to understand why it’s important to wear. Rather he calls it his leash and says I am controlling him. Help.
I am caring for my husband Larry, who is 85 years old, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, heart disease, mobility problems, sleep disorder, stroke, and vision problems.
About Me
I am an active recently retired woman who is quietly going nuts!
What sort of monitor prevents falls in an elder with Alz/dementia? Who cannot understand or retain important information in the first place, or have the empathy or insight to realize why your life matters at all? Only his life matters, so a "leash" is how he views whatever this device is, and how he's going to view it. Once they get an idea stuck in their head, you honestly cannot chop it out of there with an AXE, either. They'll just keep going back to that idea, over and over and over again.
The wisest thing to do is get dh into a daycare program so you can enjoy some freedom, or place him in Memory Care Assisted Living if his care gets to be too much for you to manage. In reality, there is no way to prevent elders from falling, no matter what you do. I know.....my mother fell 95x and we tried everything imaginable to keep her safe.
Best of luck to you.
She WILL fall, it's inevitable. It just became something they weren't willing to fight her about.
So, sadly, I guess when she does fall, she will lie there until somebody comes by to check on her.
This is not unusual. A lot of elders simply do not want to give in to that last vestige if 'independence'.
In MIL's case, she doesn't like that when she'd fall, the EMT's would show up and she'd get a trip to the ER. She was embarrassed about them coming.
Since it's a snazzy looking watch, your husband might accept it rather than a pendant. We can call each other on the watch and it also functions as a walkie talkie. The Find Me feature allows me to know where he is every minute, but he doesn't necessarily know I keep tabs on him.
And sadly falls are part of this horrible disease.
My late husband developed vascular dementia after having a massive stroke many years earlier and he was falling all the time. Even with me right here in the house with him. They really can't be prevented, until like my husband they become completely bedridden.
If his care is getting to just be too much for you at home, you may have to start looking into placing him in the appropriate facility. Although keep in mind that he will still continue to fall even if placed as many on this forum can attest to.
I hope and pray that you're taking good care of yourself and doing things that bring you joy as you matter in this equation as well.
I found it faster and was to just call 911 in emergencies.
I don’t find these call button devices to be all that helpful. Old people are still going to fall.
I know that you would like to be able to manage this situation. These situations are never easily managed in a home setting.
Start looking at facilities. They have a staff who are trained to deal with all of this.
Best wishes to you and your husband.
When they start falling like he does, incontinent or aggressive, IMO it is time to be placed in a facility.
Consult with whoever you get the monitor services from and see if there is something available that he cannot remove.
Also confer with his PCP about this observed behavior ; he may be declining more and the PCP may be able to offer other options
( medication changes for one) .
You may also need to realistically start to look at potential facility placement options either for now or down the road, for both his safety and day to day care and, for your sanity and peace of mind. Confer with PCP and get a social services professional assigned to you to help with this .
You may also want to have him assessed for hospice care admit appropriateness; if hospice assessed him as meeting the hospice criteria, they may be a valuable service for you to have to both help you in the home , look at possible placement options, and can provide you with intermittent periods of " respite" care, 5 days/ nights paid for by hospice to care for him in a facility while you have a BREAK !
She says they do not prevent fall, yes she is right, but can get help.
I cajoled, bargained, tried to put a carrot on a stick and nothing works. My brother said just admit she is not going to do it. She is selfish in many areas of her life and she is who she is so I have done that
It still doesnt help the main issue, but removes the frustration of why she wont wear it and trying to get her to wear it.
The only thing a device will do is notify you when there is a fall. (notice I did not say "IF" he falls)
I can not imagine what freedom you get from a device that will notify you if he falls. If you mean that you run to the store and leave him home while you are gone...it sounds like he needs a caregiver with him and he should not be left alone.
If you want to know when he falls maybe cameras are a better option. You can view the camera feed on your phone so it you are out you can monitor what he is doing.
He will forget about the cameras so he will not feel that he is being "watched" all the time. When he falls you can make the 911 call for a Lift Assist.
If faced with this problem, I’d check what clothing is worn everyday. If a pyjama top or a shirt is worn for a couple of days, I’d consider stitching a little pocket at the pack of the neck of each of them, and then stitching (roughly) the device into the pocket when the clothes are changed. It needn’t be at all obvious.