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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She, in the past, has loved to be around and socializing with people in general, but I'm worried that she will not play well with others, but also worried that she will be just forgotten about if by herself.
It`s safe to say that around 75% of people would benefit from having a roommate. The remainder 25% might not for various reasons. It is best to try the shared room, and see if it helps.
I have seen some very sweet pairings at the nursing home, between roommates. At this place, they really do try to match personalities. I would hope that happens often.
Maybe a roommate cause she can talk to someone even though she may not know what she is talking about random memories stuff like that. My late mother and I had a roommate for her mother who had to be placed in a nursing home. Socialization at any age and condition can help better to be with someone than to be alone than the condition can get worse cause the anxiety gets harder to manage and you don't want your loved one drugged up in order to keep her calm cause anxiety and deminitia sometimes go hand and hand just like with cancer my late mother was full of anxiety at different parts of her faithful journey I didn't like the drugs hospice had her on so I found other methods to help.
Having a room by herself will increase her aloneness and I think it would be helpful for her mental state if she had a roommate. I remember a patient I had and she had dementia and in her life she always socialized and entertained others in her home. Every day, when I went into her room, she would welcome me as a guest because she was in the middle of entertaining her friends and was having a tea party. She was one of the happiest people I had ever met and she would introduce me to her friends, who weren't there, and asked me if I would like a cup of tea. It was enjoyable just to visit her.
It will depend on so many factors--my mother has not done well with roommates in the past--she likes the "hospital" feeling that comes with being the only one in the room. And if SHE felt like socializing, it was up to her.
She blew a gasket at her last rehab center, as she was *promised* a single room, yet wound up with a roomie who was obviously there for life. She was a sweet lady, but mother never got out of the wheelchair to get to know her.
For some people, being alone in a smaller place just makes them happier, even if having a roommate would be helpful, socially. Also, just b/c 2 people are elderly and sick does not necessarily make the best basis of a friendship.
My wife is in a private room and would be a huge challenge for anyone that would be chosen to live with her. She used to be able to socialize but now is not want to be with others at all. Actually the worst person to have for a roommate was a lady that was dirty, rude, and VERY inconsiderate. So her experience and mine are not positive at all. The next person was one that she saw as one that needing to be helped and she could not do her best as to helping her. She moved to the Health Center and has since died. So, now she is a private room and it is expensive but why did we work all those years to just give our funds to our kids? Well, yes partly, but we have given our promise to provide in sickness and in health and I plan to do that till death do us part.
At Moms NH, they did not leave the residents in their rooms all day. Pretty much to sleep at night and naps. Mom was wheelchair bound but would try to get out of the WC. The common area was where they ate and had activities. Even though Mom couldn't participate, she enjoyed watching others.
Private pay on a single room is expensive. Even a double, in my area, is 10k a month. Medicaid will only pay for a double. Actually, Mom was put in a 4 bed room when Medicaid kicked in. By that time she really had no idea where she was. Like I said she was in the common area most of the time.
Another thought...when I was through visiting the prospective NH and had pretty much made my decision, I knew she would have to have a roommate. So I told her about the place and told her she may have a roommate and asked how did she feel about that. She was worried the roommate wouldn’t like her (not much chance of that) and she said maybe it would be a chance to make a new friend. Decision made. She easily answered a question I had been struggling with on my own! So depending on your Mom, you may want to just ask her opinion.
My mom is a private room because she was accusing her room-mate in the hospital of stealing things as that is how her dementia went - she accused others of stealing too whenever she couldn't find things/ forgot she got rid of things/ her money because she couldn't visit it anymore [needed to take her bank & she was fine afterwards] etc. - it would be unfair to any room-mate she would have in a semi-private room
I would say that it depends on your mom because some might bloom with the extra person to share with but others might be Hell on Earth to deal with - you didn't give enough details on your mom as to how the dementia is effecting her nor her other health issues
Here a private room in a new facility is $2599.00 [CDN$] a month plus our part of her meds not covered [about $20.00 a month] - that includes room, nursing care, laundry, food, bathing, supplies [depends etc], physio & recreation - nearly all the rooms are private in that place with their own large toilet & sink room because bathing is done in the spa room separately - so the cost is more reasonable here than in other places that so many write about on this site & that made the choice easier too
My mother recently went into nursing home, on Medicaid so the decision was made for us. So far, having roommate has been very positive overall. My mother, 91, has become very concerned about her roommate, telling the staff when she has been upset, etc. This is a huge change for my mother because the last 4-5 years, she had become increasingly withdrawn and selfish.
I struggled with this question as well. Mom had lived alone for 30 years, but was a pleasant and social person. I was afraid she wouldn’t get used to having someone at such close quarters and hoped to get a private room when she moved to her NH. But I found quickly the private rooms were very scarce and they usually saved them for people whose medical conditions necessitated them. They matched Mom up with a lovely lady who was a little higher functioning, and it’s been excellent. They told me they try to match roommates for temperament and compatibility, like college roommates. I’m not sure if that’s BS or not but it worked in her situation. I would ask the facility youre looking at how they pair up roommates, or is it strictly filling up an open bed.
In the long run a room with a room mate is cheaper. It's not about being cheap to your parent. No. Its about the huge cost of the monthly nursing home around 10k. If a parent lives for 7 or so years, that is a huge monthly cost. And factor in the occasional unexpected hospital visit. Any fever over 102 goes straight to the hospital. Or the uti, bed sore or fall. We all know the costs for hospital are outrageous. Good luck.
I agree. My mom was always anti-social, but I also observed that 99% of the people in her Alzheimer’s Unit were oblivious to anyone else, including their roommates. My mother became combative with no provocation. Even though she was on Medicaid, she was given her own room. She had a roommate only very occasionally and not for long, only a few night until someone more amenable could be found. One roommate carried around baby dolls 24/7 and my mom would take them.
There is always the opportunity to socialize in the common areas and at activities, but I know my mom did better on her own.
I find the roommate issue very difficult especially since the roommate will have dementia
I've not observed one roommate pairing at my mom's facility that has resulted in any socialization
In fact the only friendship I've observed is between two women who are on different floors
My mom's last roommate was more than 20 years younger and became obsessed thinking my mom was her mom which staff thought was cute but was actually a bit dangerous as she'd try to get her out of bed and feed her or give her pills not to mention ransack her closet
I would have chosen a private room but the cost is prohibitive
daughter102617, since your Mom loved to be around people you could try to see if she does well having a room-mate.
I remember my Mom didn't like to be alone any time my Dad was in the hospital. So when my Mom had to move to long-term-care, having another person sharing her room made her feel safer, that she wasn't by herself. It all depends on who is the room-mate and if they get along with each other.
If later down the road you find she doesn't play well with others, if she can budget for a private room then put Mom on the list for the next available private room.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She blew a gasket at her last rehab center, as she was *promised* a single room, yet wound up with a roomie who was obviously there for life. She was a sweet lady, but mother never got out of the wheelchair to get to know her.
For some people, being alone in a smaller place just makes them happier, even if having a roommate would be helpful, socially. Also, just b/c 2 people are elderly and sick does not necessarily make the best basis of a friendship.
Private pay on a single room is expensive. Even a double, in my area, is 10k a month. Medicaid will only pay for a double. Actually, Mom was put in a 4 bed room when Medicaid kicked in. By that time she really had no idea where she was. Like I said she was in the common area most of the time.
I would say that it depends on your mom because some might bloom with the extra person to share with but others might be Hell on Earth to deal with - you didn't give enough details on your mom as to how the dementia is effecting her nor her other health issues
Here a private room in a new facility is $2599.00 [CDN$] a month plus our part of her meds not covered [about $20.00 a month] - that includes room, nursing care, laundry, food, bathing, supplies [depends etc], physio & recreation - nearly all the rooms are private in that place with their own large toilet & sink room because bathing is done in the spa room separately - so the cost is more reasonable here than in other places that so many write about on this site & that made the choice easier too
If a parent lives for 7 or so years, that is a huge monthly cost. And factor in the occasional unexpected hospital visit. Any fever over 102 goes straight to the hospital. Or the uti, bed sore or fall. We all know the costs for hospital are outrageous. Good luck.
There is always the opportunity to socialize in the common areas and at activities, but I know my mom did better on her own.
I've not observed one roommate pairing at my mom's facility that has resulted in any socialization
In fact the only friendship I've observed is between two women who are on different floors
My mom's last roommate was more than 20 years younger and became obsessed thinking my mom was her mom which staff thought was cute but was actually a bit dangerous as she'd try to get her out of bed and feed her or give her pills not to mention ransack her closet
I would have chosen a private room but the cost is prohibitive
I remember my Mom didn't like to be alone any time my Dad was in the hospital. So when my Mom had to move to long-term-care, having another person sharing her room made her feel safer, that she wasn't by herself. It all depends on who is the room-mate and if they get along with each other.
If later down the road you find she doesn't play well with others, if she can budget for a private room then put Mom on the list for the next available private room.