We have moved in to care for my mother in law with dementia. Apparently she has had it for 5 years or so. It was covered up quite well. It makes sense now, looking back. My problem is getting to be, that she doesn't want to go with me. I have children with activities, and she is now in Adult Day Care. I tell her that I have to go go work, so she has to go. She tells me to just leave her there, by herself. She needs 24/7 care, can't even be left alone for 5 minutes, or she will come looking for me...either down the stairs or outside. She is getting angry. We always have somebody with her, and of course it is only us caring for her, with VERY little help from family.I know she is angry because when she goes to her other son's house once in a blue moon, she has lots of freedom, and even "babysits" the 2 year old while they run kids to school. I would NEVER leave her to run anywhere. She falls a lot too. Just trying to keep her safe. I try to pick my battles, but sometimes it is hard when we have to leave. We have been here almost a year, and still living out of boxes, and just started day care and really want to get things accomplished while she is there. I'd do anything for her, but keeping her with me 24/7 is not an option, I NEED the respite. My husband works nights, so it makes things even more difficult.
my mom's dementia is far enough along that she doesn't remember for more than 30 seconds what she has been told. It is call therapeutic lying. My mom loves the program now, has had a wonderful day each time I pick her up, but each morning it is the same battle to get her to the car.
AND you are absolutely correct, she should not be baby sitting a two year old for any amount of time. What stage of Alzheimer's is she in? Does she remember she has been to the day care when she arrives home? Do not call it day care in front of her. You could call it her ladies group, book club, or whatever would work for her.