I can't do this any more it has been years and its just me . I was here for some years helping with Hs property . A cousin had a stroke , My Mom got dementia , my brother got stage 4 cancer and a tenant Killed himself . My dad started acting kooky after My mom and bother died . I am the Only one taking care Of him . I left June 2019 to see My Grandson and my Grand daughter . Covid hit . My Dad freaked out . All the tenants left and I had to come back and clean up the mess . He was OCD the refrigerator was broken and crawling with Maggots . He had 3 phones and 3 phone numbers . I sold 2 condos they were a money Pit . he said " he would buy a house in Florida " Then dumped everything in the stock market with out telling me . Then he fell last summer and was afraid to go to rehab - he had a stroke so all year I took care of him . My sister showed up 3 weeks ago we got covid and she went to the Bank with my dad and got me removed as POA and then called the stock broker and got me removed as POA . We have $1500 in the bank account . I had 7 caregivers lined up to interview and a house sitter . I wanted to Visit My Grand children but Now I have to wait to see the stock broker June 16 with my father . I am so sick of this it really is not worth the aggravation any more . my sister Only lasted a few days after the damage she caused and then went Back to California . I have told the social workers " I dont think I can do this any more " he refuses to do anything - get his mail , take out trash , go outside , buy Food. his License expired and there is no way he can drive . He can't even walk . I have been sick for 3 weeks and I think he has made me sick . I dont Know what else I can do any more but My father thinks what he is Pulling is funny . I really Can Not stand him any More . And I am sick of everyone telling me to take care of this guy .
But--your post was kind of one run on sentence and I didn't understand much.
Can you walk away from this and live your own life?
Why is a stockbroker involved?
If I am confused, I'm sure I'm not the only one.
No one can be "removed" w/o execution of a new POA document by the individual for whom the proxy is created. You CANNOT call a stock broker and have someone removed.
That may be your interpretation, but stockbrokers have no authority to change proxies, especially by phone.
I would agree though that based on what you've written, it's time for you to move on, as you clearly are not satisfied with your father's or sister's actions. Live your own life.
Even if you do self-directed investing that’s all on-line & e-sig, all required compliance still has to be done. No way this was executed by just a phone call.
Does he have dementia? If so, who helped him decide to put all his money in stock market? Could be something like elder abuse going on there!
I hire a caregiver for my mom (with her money). She is always questioning it but it's not up to her anymore. Hire help for your dad, and if he has dementia, tell them that they answer to YOU not to him because he is not competent.
Don't let him treat you like free labor. Do what you are comfortable doing for him and hire people to do the rest. Set boundaries and reclaim some of your life, while making sure he is taken care of, etc.
Good luck
Morally, you may want to have him assessed for competency and you WILL need to have a good account of your dealings as POA -"We" have $1500 in the bank??
It is so difficult when the one you care for is not on your side, where just a little recognition can resolve many grievances and sacrifices. Being ill will cloud your judgement so I hope you can see things in a more positive light after this all passes.
Leave the situation and make your own life. Let Dad and Sis work things out for themselves. Do, as you are no longer POA, make certain that all entities you were registered as POA on, accounts, etc. know that you are no longer the POA so they can remove your name.
I, too hope that you have kept careful records of all financial in and out of money in your Dad's behalf, as you may be called to account for his cash and how it was spent in his behalf if you were handling his money. Hand over your records on request of attorney or court, but I would take care about handing them to your Sister, who may claim she never got them.
Best of luck. Get on with your life. You are free.
However, he sounds fairly incompetent (MAGGOTS?), so he's likely incapable of assigning POA to your sister. You could report her to the police for taking financial advantage of a vulnerable adult, but if you don't care, then walk away.
Mum went on a 3 week trip. When she returned, she went to her friend's bank to pay her bills. The bank informed Mum the POA had been revoked. No word from her friend at all. The son had convinced his demented mother to remove Mum as POA.
Mum was really upset, but stood back and let the cards fall in place. No one else was willing to step in as POA. Other friends reported Elder Abuse by the son to the authorities and the friends affairs were put under the control of the Provincial Guardian.
20 years ago by, the friend died. Public Trustee got hold of Mum. Apparently she was the Executrix of the Will and now had to settle the estate. It has been more than 3 years and it is still not settled.
In your Dad's case, you are completely burnt out. You do not have support from your siblings and Dad cannot manage. Call in APS. report a vulnerable adult, make it very clear that you are no longer capable of providing care and walk away.
He got blind sided by my sister for some odd reason since she shows up only once a year and never invites him to California . He was fine till she came along. neither her or her Husband work so she came to cause trouble . I want to break ties with her permanently . I Tried last August when she did not call for 7 weeks after her father fell .
As for your father. If he's behaving like an invalid, treat him like one. Call APS and report him as an vulnerable at-risk adult who is an incompetent invalid. Make sure you give them the POA's (your sister's) contact information in California. Then your duty is done.
For good measure, you may want to stop by the local police department in your father's area and ask them to do a wellness check. They may even call APS for you. Also make sure the cops have his POA's contact information because your sister is the 'go-to' person now.
Then walk away. Good luck.
NNance, be certain your Sister is the new POA. Report Dad to APS as a senior at risk and tell them you are uncertain about Sister being new POA, but that YOU , who WERE POA, are unable mentally, physically, emotionally or intellectually to manage Dad.
You will need to be certain that you are removed as POA with all entities and let them know name and address of new POA. Let sister know it would be easier if you did this together, and legally beneficial for her. If she is the new POA turn over all your files, records, and everything pertaining to Dad's estate and walk away.
DO KNOW that you cannot walk away from Dad just because you suppose he has a new POA. If he has dementia and you have registered yourself as POA on all accounts, that could be considered abandoning him. So people have to know who the new POA is.
Then get out of Dodge.
With what's happening in the stock market right now there might not be a whole lot of money to worry about soon. I always wonder why seniors leave all their funds in stocks at a certain age; seems too risky to me.
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