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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Because you love and care about her? Because you are human? We had to transition my MIL into a NH 3 years ago and I still struggle with feelings of guilt and sadness. Luckily, she is in a very good NH, which helps. "Back in the day" when people didn't live this long, they were taken more quickly by illness and disease and didn't have to suffer the long, drawn-out, emotionally painful exit. One take-away for me is to start getting my head on straight and realistically about aging and, if I live that long, what can I do now to make it better for me and my LOs, even if I go into a facility. Think about what you can learn from all of it. Coming to grips with how it might go for you and resisting assumptions and romanticizations about your "golden years" would be incredibly production. Make sure all your legal ducks are in a row and review and update them regularly. Spend quality time with your own family now. Think about what memory of yourself, impression, emotional legacy you would want to leave for LOs. I'm sorry for your sadness. I think you just need to keep working through it. May you have peace in your heart!
You may be depressed also if you were her caretaker you may be experiencing the empty nest syndrome, now what do I do with my life? Your mother is safe, has a roof over her head, so overall she is good, focus on the positive not the negative. Many of us may be in the same predicament later in life, just what it is.
For some reason I dislike the word "put". I like the word "placed". So you "placed" ur Mom in a NH. Why, because at this stage of her Dementia has gotten to the point she needs 24/7 care that is hard for one person to manage. It now takes a village.
In the perfect world it would be nice to have a parent come live with us but Dementia changes that Norman Rockwell painting. You have no idea from one second to the next what they r going to do or say. They can't be left alone. They get agitated. There is your family. Its not ur fault they have Dementia and bot their fault either. We do what is best for both. Her needing more care and you having less stress. Not all of us are Caregivers. So, try to lose that guilt. Its not good for anyone. Our parents are living longer. Its Seniors caring for Seniors. Think "now". Make her life a little better by helping her adjust.
I experienced odd bursts of tears and I realized that I was actually grieving the loss of my dad while he was still alive.
It is a long goodbye and we lose them bit by bit, I still feel very sad when he does something that is so out of character for who I believed him to be.
I recommend crying when you feel like it, it really does release stress and pressure and it is cleansing. However, if you are just bawling all the time you should see your doctor and make sure that you are healthy and maybe if all is well, they can help you with something short term to get rebalanced.
It is such a difficult way to lose a loved one. Hugs!
That is what I do will be good for a bit then one day it will hit me feeling sad and I will cry and it does feel like a death bc I miss my mom I can't just talk to her like I use to a friend at my work said that to about grieving
Is she on Hospice? I know that when my LO went on Hospice, the social worker really helped me to sort through some feelings that I had. Even though, my LO had had severe dementia for years and had been in MC for years, when she went on Hospice, it really hit me that she was leaving. Even though, she had not been verbal for a long time, I would still cry sometimes out the blue or looking at old photos of the good times. I think that I just miss what we had all those years. I miss the conversations, laughs, jokes......She is my cousin and I have known her my entire life. So, having that end is scary and sad. With dementia patients, I think we grieve their loss, even before their death.
I don't think you CAN stop getting upset and crying over the fact that you've lost and are mourning the loss of the mother you've known and loved your whole life.
"Tears are God's gift to us; our holy water. They heal us as they flow." ~Rita Schiano
Oftentimes, we lose our parents long before they pass away. I lost my mother to dementia and a wheelchair & about 10 other health conditions years ago. What's left of her is a mere shell of what once was, full of arguments and derision, always wanting to fight & complain and nit-pick. It saddens me, too, mostly because it's something I can't 'fix'.
We children can't fix our elders' old age or their pain or their troubles, and that saddens us. Which is okay, as long as we don't ruin OUR lives over the situation and forget that they've lived their lives, and we must live ours. We're here for a short enough time as it is, so it's okay to enjoy our days.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In the perfect world it would be nice to have a parent come live with us but Dementia changes that Norman Rockwell painting. You have no idea from one second to the next what they r going to do or say. They can't be left alone. They get agitated. There is your family. Its not ur fault they have Dementia and bot their fault either. We do what is best for both. Her needing more care and you having less stress. Not all of us are Caregivers. So, try to lose that guilt. Its not good for anyone. Our parents are living longer. Its Seniors caring for Seniors. Think "now". Make her life a little better by helping her adjust.
It is a long goodbye and we lose them bit by bit, I still feel very sad when he does something that is so out of character for who I believed him to be.
I recommend crying when you feel like it, it really does release stress and pressure and it is cleansing. However, if you are just bawling all the time you should see your doctor and make sure that you are healthy and maybe if all is well, they can help you with something short term to get rebalanced.
It is such a difficult way to lose a loved one. Hugs!
"Tears are God's gift to us; our holy water. They heal us as they flow."
~Rita Schiano
Oftentimes, we lose our parents long before they pass away. I lost my mother to dementia and a wheelchair & about 10 other health conditions years ago. What's left of her is a mere shell of what once was, full of arguments and derision, always wanting to fight & complain and nit-pick. It saddens me, too, mostly because it's something I can't 'fix'.
We children can't fix our elders' old age or their pain or their troubles, and that saddens us. Which is okay, as long as we don't ruin OUR lives over the situation and forget that they've lived their lives, and we must live ours. We're here for a short enough time as it is, so it's okay to enjoy our days.
Best of luck!