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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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You may think I am splitting hairs here, and I am sorry not to be able just to say lots of immediately sympathetic things when clearly you are having a horrible time - for which I really am sorry, whatever else is going on - but.
There is a *world* of difference between:
My boyfriend's family won't allow me to see or speak to him;
and
My boyfriend's family won't allow contact unless we notify them by text.
I mean, the one seems cruel. The other, if for example your boyfriend is living in the family home and being cared for by family members, could be merely good manners and common sense.
If he is in a hospital, rehab or nursing home then I can't see a way that they could block visits so I'm guessing he is being cared for at home, either his own or with a family member? IMO it isn't out of line for them to ask for a heads up before a visit under those circumstances. Could you give us more details to help us understand your problem better?
Do you know how significant the stroke was, and what the residual damage is? It might be that they want to protect him from anyone who might not understand the seriousness of the complications. If, for example, he has any paralysis, or can't speak, it might be embarrassing for him to be seen in that state. Perhaps they're just thinking of protecting his privacy and right to recover on his own terms.
Or perhaps he's indicated to them that he just doesn't want visitors.
Show your compassion and ask if there's anything you can do, and indicate that you'd appreciate being kept up to date as you're concerned. And send cards, not the "get well quick" kind, but the kind that acknowledge that someone's in a rough place and that you're offering your support and understanding.
Have you texted them about visiting him? Have you offered to be of any assistance, as far as running errands etc ?
Have you asked and been turned down? If so, was a reason given? Were there issues with you and the family before the stroke? Did he engage in any risky behaviors that might have led to the stroke? How old are you guys?
I'm sorry for all the questions, but there's not enough info to help at this point. Generic answers might be all you're looking for, which is fine. But if you need more help, more info is needed Dublin. Good luck.
That must be very difficukt. Have you been able to see your boyfriend at all since his stroke? I’m sorry you and he are going through this. How long has it been since he had the stroke? I hope he’s able to speak for himself soon.
Perhaps his family is just circling the wagons around their sick son in their desire to get him back on his feet as quickly as possible. Or maybe he's told them he doesn't want to see anyone.
I agree about sending cards. Not "Get Well Soon" cards but maybe some blank ones inside where you can write a brief note (keep it simple and short) or "Thinking of You" cards. Don't mention not being able to see him. Send them to be thoughtful and to let him know you're thinking of him.
But don't overdo it. Be respectful of his family's wishes however bizarre they may seem to you. There might be things you don't know.
I'm sorry you are going through this. Are you in touch with his other friends?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You may think I am splitting hairs here, and I am sorry not to be able just to say lots of immediately sympathetic things when clearly you are having a horrible time - for which I really am sorry, whatever else is going on - but.
There is a *world* of difference between:
My boyfriend's family won't allow me to see or speak to him;
and
My boyfriend's family won't allow contact unless we notify them by text.
I mean, the one seems cruel. The other, if for example your boyfriend is living in the family home and being cared for by family members, could be merely good manners and common sense.
So. Which is it?
Or perhaps he's indicated to them that he just doesn't want visitors.
Show your compassion and ask if there's anything you can do, and indicate that you'd appreciate being kept up to date as you're concerned. And send cards, not the "get well quick" kind, but the kind that acknowledge that someone's in a rough place and that you're offering your support and understanding.
Have you asked and been turned down? If so, was a reason given? Were there issues with you and the family before the stroke? Did he engage in any risky behaviors that might have led to the stroke? How old are you guys?
I'm sorry for all the questions, but there's not enough info to help at this point. Generic answers might be all you're looking for, which is fine. But if you need more help, more info is needed Dublin. Good luck.
I agree about sending cards. Not "Get Well Soon" cards but maybe some blank ones inside where you can write a brief note (keep it simple and short) or "Thinking of You" cards. Don't mention not being able to see him. Send them to be thoughtful and to let him know you're thinking of him.
But don't overdo it. Be respectful of his family's wishes however bizarre they may seem to you. There might be things you don't know.
I'm sorry you are going through this. Are you in touch with his other friends?