Perhaps my grandma has hrs left. She is heavily sweating and is getting cold to the touch, she is diabetic and I figured after 2 days of not eating she would have a sugar crash. Her oxygen level and pulse are still ok, she seems to be in a coma at this point. Mom and sister are with her and that brings me comfort but I do not want to be there, I'm just listening from my room. I want to sleep, and am so tired. I feel guilty, even crying is getting harder (unless I am with her, I cant control my tears- I start thinking she is suffering). In the past when I have put my pets to sleep, except for 1, I step out. The one time I witnessed it, I was traumatized.
My grandma has been with me 35 years, I made the decision to end dialysis after 7 years, bc the doctors said quality of life for my 91 yr old grandma was bad. I didn't want to but I did, I felt as if she still had some life in her, probably that was just me trying to hold on to her for the longest, being selfish.
But your decision is making you feel guilt, which you do NOT deserve.
I have no doubt your grandmother knows all your kindnesses, hard work, and your final decision on her behalf. You do not have make yourself be there for her final breaths. She's with you in spirit, even, right now.
You've been through an enormous task and are going through heartbreak in this, your most sacred, task. Rest or sleep from another room or be at her bedside--whatever suits YOUR heart and soul.
According to what I read from hospice nurses, many patients wait until their family members to leave then die. While the relatives are there, the dying feel like they have to hang on because their relatives are not ready to let them go.
I hope this helps ease your mind in your decision not to be with your grandma when she passes.
I told the staff at her residence that I chose not to stay overnight, and she died after I’d gone.
I was absolutely certain that the Angels would come to takeherHome, and I’m absolutely certain that they did.
You’ve cared for her lovingly and sensitively and intelligently. There is no reason for you to feel guilt. So Don’t. Let her go, with whoever wishes to be next to her be there, and yourself where you can feel at peace as she passes.
my mum left my Nan at 4pm she was doing ok in hospital, she got a phone call during the night from them and Nan had moved on.
sometimes our loved ones don’t want us there and it’s ok. Sometimes it’s too much for us and that’s ok.
your grandma knows you love her and everything you have done for her; you have looked after her, she’s been blessed to have you and you’ve been blessed to have her. Say your precious goodbye and let her go xx