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My mom fell in her room in her independent living studio room. This is the 2nd time in two weeks. The facility provides medical alert bracelets, but Mom won't use it. Says she can yell and someone can hear her. Well today she was down for quite awhile before anyone heard her. We also cannot get her to use her walker.

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Shasta, it sounds to me just from this little you wrote us that Mom may be forgetting her bracelet. Does she give you any other explanation? In any case her actions aren't very realistic. I am wondering if your own assessment--you know her best--may not be that Mom is moving to a stage where "independent living" is no longer the best match for her condition? She may require ALF now where she is in her own room, perhaps in a cluster of rooms in a cottage setting, but served meals, checked with some frequency day and night, and etc?
I leave it to you. You know her best. But it sounds like your simply "talking" about this isn't working, and this falling could lead soon to an injury which always means so much more of a slide down in terms of possible complication. My best out to you and wishing you good luck. This is a common problem.
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Since your mom is either unwilling or unable to remember to wear her alert bracelet and to use her walker, it is time for her to move to either assisted living or memory care.
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It sounds to me that perhaps your mom is either forgetting that she has the bracelet on or how to use it, as well as how to use her walker.
Like AlvaDeer said below, it sounds like your mom is now past being able to live independently and probably needs more assistance with her care.
Falling can be quite dangerous especially in the elderly, so it may be time for mom to move into an assisted living facility. That won't prevent her falling, as obviously there is a reason she's falling, but hopefully she won't have to wait so long for someone to find her and help her.
Best wishes in getting the next steps figured out with your mom.
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To be really frank - if she is in the stage where she needs a medical alert bracelet and the walker - I agree with Alvadeer - it may be time to really assess whether she is at the "independent living" stage now or if she is living in an independent living apartment but is propped up with a lot of interventions in order to remain there.

Your profile says that she lives in a connected apartment to your niece's home- and that she can cook and clean but forgets a lot. She depends on YOU to remember a lot of things and you are facilitating a lot of things for her.

Additionally you mention that it is starting to impact YOUR health and she doesn't want strangers doing things for her and only wants YOUR help.

From you post it sounds like she has moved from your niece's home to the IL facility - but has anything else changed? Are you still facilitating everything else? From your profile she was already having issues with memory, with cooking and cleaning and you were already doing a lot for her and she was already dependent on you when she was living in the apartment in your niece's home. IL wouldn't really change that need very much.

It definitely sounds like it is time to reassess and consider AL rather than IL. If you are filling in all of those gaps and it was already impacting your health BEFORE she moved to the IL, that move didn't really do anything to improve YOUR situation, it just changed the view. She needs additional help, but it sounds like you are the one providing all of the gap filling. And it sounds like she needs more intervention now. Moving to AL would help there. (and you mention in your profile that she was refusing then to consider memory/cognitive assessment and it may be time to look into this as well).

Best of luck to you.
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Discuss with someone the issue of using a different med alert bracelet, one that notifies a responder when the wearer exhibits a change of posture. I.e., the one we got for my father alarmed the provider even if he just bent over. The device is position oriented, i.e., when posture is changed, it alerts. That would include when Dad fell.

If the facility isn't responsive, can you afford to purchase a med alert bracelet for her? The service we had was initially a home monitoring system, with alerts provided when homes were breached. Eventually it expanded into monitoring for fall alerts, based on change of posture. That could have been irritating, as it alarmed even Dad bent over to put on shoes. Still, better more alarms than less.

If I recall, there were 3 options of alerts: I was the first, EMS the second, but I don't recall the third. You could list someone at the facility as first, you as second, or vice versa. EMS could also be listed, as it would probably call the facility and alert the appropriate level of staff for response.

Does she dress herself in the morning? If not, someone could be assigned to add the pendant or bracelet? Or, could you bribe her to wear one? Little treats such as a bouquet of flowers, or special food?
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Shasta99, my Dad was living at a senior facility in their Independent Living building and he was fall risk. Dad did use his walker and his emergency button that he wore around his neck. Dad kept falling, and in some cases 911 was called.

Eventually the facility said it was time for Dad to move to the next level. Yes, the room was much smaller, Dad called it his college dorm room, but he got more hands on care.
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I understand this concern. I have been referring people to AloeCare because the older adult doesn't need to wear a pendant. The device is voice activated so your Mom can call out and get emergency help or call you directly. Time is of the essence when it comes to being on the ground after a fall.
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I wonder if the bracelet isn't fitted properly, or is uncomfortable??? What about a pendant? Would she wear that?

As to the walker, have you considered decorating it, so that it's not just a plain walker but something lovely (that might even evoke compliments)? Someone I met on a forum several years ago painted walkers in themes related to the wearer's interest. I decided if I ever get to the point of needing a walker permanently, mine will be painted and decorated with flowers.
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PatsyN Jul 2022
Wow. Individualized walkers. What a neat idea.
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Is there a way you can put the bracelet on and it cannot come off. When I had an ID bracelet for my daughter when she was young the clip on it was very hard to take off or like a medical alert bracelets.
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My mother is in assisted living, and they have the call buttons all over her apartment, as well as the one she wears around her neck. The first time she broke her hip, and did NOT use the button. They found her the next day when she did not show up for breakfast. She then had a hip replacement. Her dementia was not as advanced, so we impressed how important it was to use that button. She agreed, but still did not use it the next time she fell. Fortunately she was not hurt. Now her dementia is more advanced, and soon she will be ready for memory care. These falls (she has a walker, but does not use it when she "putters" around) add to her dementia. My point is, as much as we care, as much as we worry, as much as we try to anticipate, there is only so much we can do. I love my mother very much, but I have to make myself realize that I am not omniscient, and there are some things out of my control. I hope you know that your situation is not unique, and all you can do sometimes is react and not proact. As long as you listen to your loved ones, and tell them you love them, and do the best that you can without harming yourself physically or mentally by doing too much, then you have to trust that whatever happens, happens. I may sound incoherent about this, but I hope you get the gist.
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