My mom fell in her room in her independent living studio room. This is the 2nd time in two weeks. The facility provides medical alert bracelets, but Mom won't use it. Says she can yell and someone can hear her. Well today she was down for quite awhile before anyone heard her. We also cannot get her to use her walker.
I leave it to you. You know her best. But it sounds like your simply "talking" about this isn't working, and this falling could lead soon to an injury which always means so much more of a slide down in terms of possible complication. My best out to you and wishing you good luck. This is a common problem.
My mom and MIL will routinely forget their fall pendants and no matter what we do, they simply forget.
They both live alone, essentially, and there is no one to remind them. Even then, they'll take them off to put on lotion or bathe and they don't go back on.
At an ALF, someone could do a cursory check to see that mom is wearing her bracelet. I'm SURE they'd rather hear the fall alarm than her yelling for help. It could be noted on her chart that she needs to be 'reminded' and that's just one more thing that can be done.
Like AlvaDeer said below, it sounds like your mom is now past being able to live independently and probably needs more assistance with her care.
Falling can be quite dangerous especially in the elderly, so it may be time for mom to move into an assisted living facility. That won't prevent her falling, as obviously there is a reason she's falling, but hopefully she won't have to wait so long for someone to find her and help her.
Best wishes in getting the next steps figured out with your mom.
Your profile says that she lives in a connected apartment to your niece's home- and that she can cook and clean but forgets a lot. She depends on YOU to remember a lot of things and you are facilitating a lot of things for her.
Additionally you mention that it is starting to impact YOUR health and she doesn't want strangers doing things for her and only wants YOUR help.
From you post it sounds like she has moved from your niece's home to the IL facility - but has anything else changed? Are you still facilitating everything else? From your profile she was already having issues with memory, with cooking and cleaning and you were already doing a lot for her and she was already dependent on you when she was living in the apartment in your niece's home. IL wouldn't really change that need very much.
It definitely sounds like it is time to reassess and consider AL rather than IL. If you are filling in all of those gaps and it was already impacting your health BEFORE she moved to the IL, that move didn't really do anything to improve YOUR situation, it just changed the view. She needs additional help, but it sounds like you are the one providing all of the gap filling. And it sounds like she needs more intervention now. Moving to AL would help there. (and you mention in your profile that she was refusing then to consider memory/cognitive assessment and it may be time to look into this as well).
Best of luck to you.
If the facility isn't responsive, can you afford to purchase a med alert bracelet for her? The service we had was initially a home monitoring system, with alerts provided when homes were breached. Eventually it expanded into monitoring for fall alerts, based on change of posture. That could have been irritating, as it alarmed even Dad bent over to put on shoes. Still, better more alarms than less.
If I recall, there were 3 options of alerts: I was the first, EMS the second, but I don't recall the third. You could list someone at the facility as first, you as second, or vice versa. EMS could also be listed, as it would probably call the facility and alert the appropriate level of staff for response.
Does she dress herself in the morning? If not, someone could be assigned to add the pendant or bracelet? Or, could you bribe her to wear one? Little treats such as a bouquet of flowers, or special food?
Eventually the facility said it was time for Dad to move to the next level. Yes, the room was much smaller, Dad called it his college dorm room, but he got more hands on care.
As to the walker, have you considered decorating it, so that it's not just a plain walker but something lovely (that might even evoke compliments)? Someone I met on a forum several years ago painted walkers in themes related to the wearer's interest. I decided if I ever get to the point of needing a walker permanently, mine will be painted and decorated with flowers.
Ask her if her plan is to remain in IL and what precautions she can take to remain there. We all reach a point where it becomes common sense to stay off ladders - she has reached that point. Time to do some things that we don't want to do in order to maintain current mode of living as long as possible.
Let her know that a broken leg or hip could land her in a bed for the rest of her days where she has no choice but to give up the IL facility and be totally dependent on others just to pee or eat. Like any habit (good or bad), repetition creates the habit. For the medical alert and for the walker.
her primary will help with the walker. Also PT can access her studio to determine what safety measure are needed like hand rails, etc. Another idea is installing a monitor for safety check ins.
We have a monitor system for nights that connects to our smartphones. Its very convenient and has audio & visual.
My grandmother was exactly the same way. She had a life-alert pendant. She took it off in the shower and at bedtime - the two times she needed it the most. She also walked without her walker, saying "I just need to get over here."
At that time, my Mom was quite capable of knowing that she needed to call someone. The problem was that my Mom didn't know that she fell. She was most prone to falling when getting up at night to go to the bathroom. After the fall, she would just stay on the floor until someone came. I suspect she was sleep walking because she is capable of all kinds of behaviors like having a very productive conversation with someone and be totally asleep.
Before she went into MC, we got an Apple watch with fall detection. and when it detected a fall, after a period of time, it will start calling down the list of phone numbers identified as "emergency" in the phonebook. I got the generation that did not require the iphone to be nearby.
She almost never falls when she is awake due to the coincidence that someone is almost always there.
To deal with the nighttime issue, MC installed a bed alarm on my Mom's bed. At home, we had caregivers who watched and ensured that she didn't fall at night.
Poor balance or legs giving way shouldn't effect Mom's ability to press a call button.
But dizziness, feint, blood pressure issues, TIA etc could cloud judgement.
In the shock of a fall, many just forget the call button. It's a more natural response to call out help. But Mom is saying she won't even try to use the button. Hmm.
2. Walker: what reason does Mom give for not using her walker?
Is it HER walker to her? A useful tool & she has accepted she needs?
Or an embarrassment she doesn't see the need for.
Classic lack of insight with dementia "I'm fine". I'm don't need that! I can manage".
Good luck.
I paid extra for a pendant she would wear at all times. She wasn't using it!
We did a test: I had her press the button - what is a normal button press for you or I was anything but for her.
First off, she had arthritis in several fingers including her R thumb. Thn you add cognitive issues & bam.
She couldn't physically press the darn thing!
I really examined it, and it really was a poor design for ppl like her. Hard to press due to its recess.
Good to test even if your loved one is in AL vs Mem Care....at some point, they'll likely cross that line...